


Stranger Things Have Happened

by Makkoska



Category: Naruto
Genre: Akatsuki - Freeform, Gore, Jashin - Freeform, KakuHidan, M/M, Violence, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-20
Updated: 2012-09-21
Packaged: 2017-11-12 13:08:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/491367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Makkoska/pseuds/Makkoska
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Hidan is captured by a group of shinobi hunting for him, Kakuzu grudgingly has to come to his rescue. It starts a chain of events that neither of them anticipated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a longish KakuzuxHidan story. Please heed the rating – warning is for yaoi, language, gore, violence – this is about the Zombie Combo after all. Reviews are loved and cherished.
> 
> Additional warnings: Unbetad. Feel free to point out my mistakes. Also, the names of the OCs are random. Any similarities with real names are just coincidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a longish KakuzuxHidan story. Please heed the rating – warning is for yaoi, language, gore, violence – this is about the Zombie Combo after all. Reviews are loved and cherished.
> 
> Additional warnings: Unbetad. Feel free to point out my mistakes. Also, the names of the OCs are random. Any similarities with real names are just coincidence.

 

~0~0~0~0~

**Stranger Things Have Happened**

~0~0~0~0~

"... so this old fuck comes up to me and says; My son, it's still not late to repent your sins. Kali is the true God – he embraces even the likes of you. Now to think of it, I’m not sure he said Kali. Well, the fuck cares. Bloody old heathen... You know, I'm not against a good, heated, theological argument…"

Hidan laughed his usual, crazy laugh. The nerve under Kakuzu's left eye started to twitch. The masked Akatsuki lengthened his stride, but his partner caught up with him easily, not shutting his mouth even for drawing breath.

"…wiped the blood from the scythe. The old coot's apprentice swore to convert. So I sent him to Jashin-sama, hehe…"

He kept on walking just a step behind him, slightly to the right. Just on the edge of his vision. Like an irritating fly that kept circling around you but always avoided being swatted.

"…I told Itachi that he wouldn't have that sour expression on his camel-face all the time if only he would convert… but what did I get for my efforts? He set me on fire!"

Kakuzu tried to lock out the buzz, but it was one of those days he just couldn't. The twitch under his eye was becoming permanent. He tried his best meditation technique – namely counting mentally all Akatsuki's and his own income for the month – but he kept losing his concentration. It didn't help that he  _knew_ Hidan was provoking him on purpose. After having the zealot as a partner for almost five months he recognised the differences when Hidan was irritating because that was the way he was, and when he was irritating because he was bored... he seemed to know only one way to chase away his boredom - aggravating Kakuzu until he reacted. This little monologue was definitely the second category.

"… then Kisame, that fish-eyed moron…"

Another twitch. In the last thirty years Kakuzu never lost the control over any part of his body. Through his long life he made several alteration to his own body, using both his bloodline ability and several Forbidden Techniques until he was in control of every muscle, every thread. He couldn't even recall the last time when he had any of his nerves jumping on its own accord.

"… in the end Jashin embraces us all – I just help people to get to him faster."

 _Akatsuki budget. Incomes and expenses._ In the last few weeks they – or rather he, Hidan being a hindrance more than help in most cases - managed to hunt down three wanted man who were worth a nice sum of money. But even this thought didn't help to tune out the zealot, who was now right on his heels and kept talking and talking.

"…even an ungodly miser like you, Kakuzu. Just a stab – well, in your case five – and with the blood your sins would flow out and you could be united with Jashin-sama forever. Death is really not a high price for this," and with that he patted the masked man's shoulder in such a patronizing way no one else would have dared.

The urge to kill pushed all thoughts aside in Kakuzu's mind. If the little cretin wanted his reaction that much, he could get it. So quick that Hidan couldn't have seen more than a blur he whirled around, intending to break the other's neck.

Hidan – whose reaction time usually didn't compare to Kakuzu's – was obviously expecting the attack, and dove.

"Hey, hey, no need to get angry!" He chortled. "But at least I know that it's not your walking corpse I've been talking to in the last two hours. I've been afraid, the way you kept so fucking silent… Hey!"

He raised his scythe just in time to block the shuriken Kakuzu aimed for his eye.

"…the fuck are you throwing things for! You should be grateful that I care for your heathen soul!"

Without a word, Kakuzu turned around and started to walk once again. He listened to Hidan's steps as he caught up with him.  _This is a test,_ he thought. _If the fanatic little idiot has more brains than a cockroach, he will keep his mouth shut._ Of course this wasn't something he really expected of him…

3…2…1… and he was proven right. A sigh, then Hidan spoke again on his most whiney, most irritating voice.

"I swear Kakuzu that you are the most boring asshole I ever had the misfortune of spending time with. What's the matter, have the sewing got loose on your ugly gob and you can no longer talk?"

Kakuzu unfastened the stitches on his right arm. The hand –being now connected to his body only through his threads – swung backwards, grabbed Hidan's throat and lifted him off the ground. The masked man slowly turned around until he was face to face with Hidan. He let the muscles and skin connect again. The zealot's legs were dangling a good four inches above the ground.

Hidan's fair complex turned to a vivid shade of red then to purple as he failed to peel the steely fingers from his neck. His mouth was still working, but only some slight wheezing sound managed to came through his crushed windpipe.

A minute… two… the fingers that tried to pull away the older shinobi's grip loosened. Hidan's legs were still twitching though, so to be sure, Kakuzu kept his hold.

Ah, silence. Peace. This was Nirvana. Kakuzu dropped the limp body on the ground and sighed in contentment. He had eared five minutes of serenity. Ten, is he put up a good pace, before Hidan would revive and catch up with him.

It was by sunset when Kakuzu finally stopped. He didn't want to acknowledge it, but he found it disturbing that Hidan hadn't caught up with him yet. Hours have passed since he left him – so why wasn't he on his heels yet, whining and cursing and annoying the hell out of him? Silently promising his partner a painful welcome, Kakuzu got off the road and settled down. He hoped to reach the next village that day, but maybe it was better this way. Nature didn't charge him for the night, while if they would be staying at an Inn, he would be left paying for his Hidan’s accommodation as well as his own. As always.

He ate his light dinner and lay down on the dry grass, hands folded beneath his head. He watched the stars lighting up on the darkening sky from under half-lidded eyes. Ha had to make best of the calm and silence until it lasted. By this time Hidan surely had enough of sulking and would catch up with him any time now. All of their supplies and money were with Kakuzu, and he was pretty sure the big-mouthed zealot didn't remember where they were heading. He never paid any attention on the Akatsuki gatherings. Lazy, fanatic idiot… He would turn up in any minute and start bitching. Kakuzu just wasn't that lucky to have lost him…

It was around midnight – the moon was shining high on the sky – when Kakuzu was flying back next to the road, leaping from branch to branch. Mentally, he kept promising Hidan the most painful death. They were getting late on their schedule again. It was not the time to play games. When it came to Kakuzu, it was never the time, Hidan should have known that by now. After this, he would keep marching the bloody cretin all night, even if he had to keep kicking him for it the whole time.

Kakuzu went motionless when he reached the spot where he left his partner's body. There was no sign of Hidan.

Though he wasn't a specialist on tracking, during his long life Kakuzu acquired many useful abilities. He closed his eyes and concentrated. If Hidan had been in a mile radius he would have sensed his presence. But he found nothing.

He descended from the tree and looked around in the moonlight. The ground was dry and hard like bone as it hadn't rained for weeks, so he couldn't hope for many clues but still… a treaded upon patch of grass here, a mark of a booted feet there… After a few minutes he came to the conclusion that Hidan had very probably been taken away by a small group of people. Undoubtedly he hadn't revived yet when he had been found. He wasn't the type who went down quietly and let himself be captured. Or maybe they found him incapacitated at the middle of the road and wanted to help him… but no… no one in their right mind would want to help Hidan.

Kakuzu straightened up from his crouch and eyed the almost invisible path that led between the trees. Principles he had heard a lifetime ago – and had ignored for almost as long – came to his mind. Like the importance of teamwork, or never abandoning your partners. It didn't matter, he came to the decision after a few thoughtful minutes. Whoever captured Hidan, he wished them happiness with him. If the priest couldn't escape – that would be his own bloody fault.

~0~0~0~0~

"You damned bastards! Heathen, godless fucks! Jashin will have you rot…"

A kick between his ribs silenced Hidan for a moment, but as soon as he managed to catch his breath again he continued his thrashing and swearing.

"We should cut his filthy tongue out, Amana-sensei!"

"We can't do that Zoza, he had to be interrogated. Kumogakure had been searching for him for months! We had amazing luck in finding him like that."

"But if he has any teammates, he will bring them to us with his screaming."

"I doubt that he has any – the way we found him, left in the middle of the road. Someone defeated him, without realizing what he was really capable of. But gag him, just to be sure – I don't want to listen to his filth anyway. We will take him home, and the interrogators will have him singing."

Hidan bit the Kumogakure shinobi when he bent over him with the rag, but in the end the three of them had him pinned down and he was silenced. He had to settle for cursing them silently. When he managed to break free he would sacrifice them to Jashin-sama the most painful way possible.

He carefully tested the knot that tied his hands behind his back. He thought that he managed to loosen it the slightest bit during his rampage, but in the silence that followed he had no chance to work on it further.

He glanced longingly at his scythe, but it was far out of reach, propped up next to the door. He looked around in the shabby hut he was dragged into. Where the hell they were, he didn't know. Probably in the middle of the fucking forest.

He felt like shit. His whole body was throbbing as the tightly pulled rope cut into his flesh. His neck was still hurting as well, where Kakuzu strangled him previously.

Damn Kakuzu, this whole shit was his fault. If he wouldn't have choked him, or at least haven't left him alone on the road, the three ninjas could have captured him. What was his issue anyway, when Hidan was just trying to keep himself amused? Had it been up to Kakuzu, he would have died or boredom ages ago. And even now he was biding his time, not coming to Hidan's aid.  _You better arrive soon you old fuck._

He tried to loosen the rope on his hand further, but the leader of the hostile shinobi caught him at it and rewarded him with a strong kick. Hidan, trussed up as he was, fall over and hit his head on the wooden floor.

"You will pay for this, bloody whore!" he wanted to shout, but he could only manage muffled sounds through the filthy rag in his mouth. The woman lifted him up and shoved him against the wall. Bloody bitch was  _strong._

"Keep your mouth shut, you worm," she hissed into his face "or you will only leave this place in pieces."

Hidan pulled his legs up and kicked her in the stomach, as hard as his awkward position allowed. It wasn't the best of ideas – the only thing he earned was a sound beating.

Afterwards he lay on the floor, every part of him aching. He tried to make the best of the riot and loosen the knot behind his back further. He tried to convince himself that he succeeded to at least to some degree – but he definitely needed more time to break free. But when he did, these fuckheads would regret the day they crossed path with him. Then he would go and find Kakuzu and, and… and will take all of his money and spend it on something  _stupid and useless._

Revenge was sweet to Jashin, and it was sweet to his follower as well. And really… that was the harshest punishment one could think of when it came to that stitched-together, heartless (figuratively speaking) old dick. Hidan repressed a chuckle. Oh yeah, this was a master plan. He just had to do it.

It soon turned out however that this was easier said than done. He couldn't get out of the bonds. The Kumogakure shinobi soon went off to sleep, but one of them always kept watch of Hidan. There was also something wrong with the rope – it looked like the more Hidan tried to pull on it, the tighter it became. He started to worry that he won't finish by daybreak the way things were going. His hands had gone completely numb as the circulation was cut off by the tight rope, which made the meticulous work almost impossible. The temptation to give into sleep was great. He could still escape in the morning. He was so tired…

 _Come on Hidan, Jashin-sama is on your side._ He tried to keep his mind fresh with reciting his god's edicts – but there weren't that many of them, and more or less said the same thing. That the enemy – or anyone you didn't particularly like – had to be smashed, destroyed in mind and body. Usually this was completely satisfactory to Hidan and enough to keep him amused, but tired as he was his eyes started to close halfway through his litany.

_I can't fall asleep. If come morning Kakuzu finally arrives and finds me trussed up and sleeping he will laugh his ass off. I am Jashin –sama's priest. Hidan the Immortal. A week enemy, like sleep cannot defeat me…_

He woke up to someone shaking him. The light shining through the cracks of the hut told him it was dawn. One of his captors yanked him to his feet.

"Let's go," said their leader. "Zoza, you will lead this monster. Nohan and I will cover you from both sides in case he tries anything." With that she bended over and cut the ropes binding Hidan's legs together. It was only the gag stopping the priest from crying out in joy. He took a staggering step – his legs have fallen asleep, so he didn't even had to pretend – then he spun around abruptly and kicked the woman who was just rising up on the head. He ducked and managed to avoid a kunai aimed for his heart and only took the blow of a katana.

He shuddered in delight as the cold steel bit into his hip. Perfect – the wound would bleed enough to draw the symbol of Jashin on the ground. Now he only had to taste one of the idiots' blood and he would have one enemy down.

There was only a small problem with that – his hands were still bound behind his back and his mouth was still stuffed with the rag. Maybe he should have thought the plan through better. Unfortunately it wasn't the time to lament on it – his three enemies charged on him, and Hidan had to make the best of all his taijutsu skills to avoid being incapacitated. With a somersault he evaded being beheaded by the leader-bitch, but he was running out of possibilities. Close quarters wasn't on his side either and he was soon forced into a corner. A kunai reached its mark and sank deep into his stomach. He coughed up blood, but couldn't spit it out due to the gag. Quite inelegantly he started to retch and choke. The Kumogakure shinobi – unsportsmanlike fucking bastards – charged on him and stabbed him until he looked like a morbid pincushion with all of those kunais and shurikens sticking out of him.

"Amana-sensei," he heard the ninja with the sword as if he was speaking from underwater, "are you sure that his worm is immortal? I don't think he will survive otherwise…"

Hidan's vision started to grey out and he found it difficult to focus on the woman's face as she leaned in close above him. Jashin help him, but he hated this, the dying, when he wasn't in control of it.

The bitch lifted him up from the ground and tore the rag from his mouth. Hidan spat the blood out with relief. He was only sorry that he didn't have enough strength to hit the woman on her face with it.

"Listen you freak," she pinned Hidan against the wall. Hidan snarled at her – he just couldn't strand aggressive bitches like her. "If you try to pull a trick like this again we will cut you to pieces and take you to Kumogakure like that. It is even possible that we will lose a few less important parts on the journey. Understood?"

Hidan had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. Threats, threats. It was like listening to Kakuzu. Though his partner was fucking intimidating when he was really angry. The woman had nothing on him.

"Of course babe," Hidan grinned at her and got a slap that made his ears ring as a reward.

The enemy group escorted him out of the hut and took their formation, obviously preparing for the worst. On the little clearing where the hut stood all was peaceful. The lights of dawn sparkled on the dewy leaves and birds were singing nearby. Pity that Hidan wasn't in the mood to appreciate it. He stared straight ahead indifferently as he hung between the arms of his captors. His wounds – that would have killed a normal man in a few minutes – had healed quite nicely by now and his strength was returning, but he tried not to show it. There would be no better chance for  _someone_  to make a surprise attack. Hidan could only hope that said someone didn't intend to watch idle as his partner was hauled away.

Kakuzu waited until they reached the trees. Hidan was coming up with third possibility of how the old heathen could be sacrificed to Jashin at that point. The masked man shot out from behind the bushes so fast that he was nothing more than a blur, and smashed one of the Kumogakure nin against a tree.

"It was bloody time!" Hidan shrieked as he torn himself from the slackening grip of the other guard. "What the fuck took you so long?!"

"Show some gratitude," Kakuzu answered calmly. Kunais and shurikens flew at him, just to drop to the ground without any harm done as they met his raised arms. Hidan could see his skin was darkened with his Earth Spear Technique or whatever he called it. Show off. He loved to pretend that fights cost him nothing. So far Hidan had only seen him once releasing his full power in battle – but when he did it caused destruction beyond the wildest imagination. It had left the priest in awe for hours – it was something he never expected to see. And Hidan had very good powers of conception when it came to demolition.

He just couldn't comprehend that if Kakuzu was in command of such brute power why didn't he let it loose more often? In the eye of the Jashin-priest, not to use such destructive force was a sin. When he had told this to the miser though, he just started to explain the tactical advantages of not showing one's full powers only if absolutely necessary… blah, blah, blah, boring shit, if you asked Hidan.

He got a bit lost in his thoughts, and the bitch almost got him. Hidan jumped and leaped to get far away from her. At least there was enough space now for the escape, but he still wasn't able to attack. His partner was still trifling with the other two shinobi, while their leader did her best to chop Hidan's head off.

"Kakuzu! Cut these fucking ropes off finally!" Hidan shouted.

The masked Akatsuki spared him an angry glare, but extended one of his threads towards Hidan. The tentacle wove itself on the rope tying Hidan's hands back and pulled hard. For a moment the priest thought his arms were going to be ripped off. Then he was flying backwards and landing disgracefully on his ass. The rope however didn't loosen at all.

 _May you and your whole fucking village rot in Jashin-sama's hell. What is this shit you bound me with?_ No surprise that he couldn't untie the rope on his own, if it resisted Kakuzu's strength like that. He had no time to think of it though, as he had to roll away from a spike of fire. Was the woman trying to roast him now?

Luckily it looked like Kakuzu finally had enough playing with the two weaker shinobi. Hidan glanced at them - both looked dead or at least unconscious, lying on the ground. The masked man attacked the woman at last.

Hidan, very wisely, decided that he would be more of an obstacle then a help in his current state so he crawled out of the fire line. Propping up against a tree, he watched his partner fight the last standing enemy.

The little bitch was pretty good. She stayed on her feet for almost five minutes, though she wasn't a real challenge to Kakuzu. Hidan looked on with great pleasure as she finally crumbled down in a bloody heap and as Kakuzu treaded on her neck. Hidan's whole body shuddered in joy when he heard the loud crack, signalling that her neck had been broken.

Death and destruction… Kakuzu would have made a wonderful servant of Jashin-sama. Pity he was such a heathen miser. Hidan grinned as he came up to him.

"Good job. Though I wonder what the fuck made you wait that long to act."

"I just couldn't believe that you're unable to fight such a hapless bunch of idiots on your own. But then you are the biggest hapless idiot of all, aren't you? The Akatsuki really lowered its standard recently."

"Ha, bloody ha. If you hadn't left me on the road like that that it wouldn't have happened at all."

"If you had learned to keep your mouth shut once in a while, I wouldn't need to keep silencing you."

"Eh, just untie my already. And try not to tear out my arms this time, will you?"

"Hmm, I don't know if I should. This binding and gagging thing wasn't a bad idea…"

"I really hope you meant that as a joke," – Hidan grumbled as he stood up and let his partner look at the knot. He had the fleeting thought that not many people would willingly turn their back to Kakuzu, but despite all banter and hostility, he trusted him. After all – the old miser couldn't off him as he did with his previous partners. What else was there for him than to cooperate with the priest?

 


	2. II.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some gore in this chapter, though noting that serious when it comes to these two I believe.

 

~0~0~0~0~

Kakuzu eyed the rope tying Hidan's hands back from under drawn eyebrows. It looked like Kumogakure came up with a really clever solution in restricting their captives as the bond just refused to be taken off. The material itself seemed to resist both physical force and chakra based attacks as well. This was topped with a seal – the captors really wanted to make sure the priest wouldn't escape. Kakuzu saw only one solution…

"There's a bit of an issue," he finally said to Hidan.

"Huh? What issue?"

"It looks like the only way to get rid of this rope is to cut off your hands and pull it from the stumps."

"…the fuck?! You're having me on! Cut off your own bloody hands and stuff them up…"

"You can stay like this, for all that I care."

"Kakuzu, you can't be that lame! Take this shit off me already!"

"Have you been listening at all? It can't be taken off. It goes with your hands or it stays on. Your choice."

Hidan glared at him, shaking with anger. Kakuzu stared back, face blank. After a minute or so, the priest deflated under his clod stare.

"All right, you sadistic son of a bitch, do it. But make it a clean cut, so it can be stitched back nicely. I don't want my arms look like yours."

"Do shut up. I have been mutilating people well before you were born."

"Wow, now that's a comforting thought…"

Kakuzu picked up the katana that one of the hostile shinobi had been using. It looked sharp enough. He fleetingly thought of sterilizing the blade, but it wasn't probable that the zealot could catch any infections, so why bother?

Hidan, who in the meantime had lain down on his stomach kept shooting him anxious glances. Kakuzu did his best to keep his face emotionless, but in truth he was rather enjoying the situation. The priest got on his nerve so often – with his continuous talking, his fanaticism, his absolute disregard of Kakuzu's finances and the way it was impossible to be rid of him – that he didn't pity him the slightest for the pain he would have to endure.

Kakuzu took his cloak off – there was no need to get it bloody – and straddled the other man's hips to hold him down. He pulled Hidan's hands back and upwards as much as he could. This was certainly not the most ideal position to chop someone's hands off, but he had enough brute power to be able to do it like this. Without further ado he swung the blade and sunk it into flesh, just below the wrist. Hidan started to whine again, but he ignored that.

"Kakuzu, I thought this through and this is not a good idea after  _aaaarghhhh_ , you fucking bastard, this fucking hurts like hell!"

Something was wrong. By his calculation Hidan hand should have simply fallen off. Instead the sword gut stuck next to the bone. Leaning closer Kakuzu saw that the seal was shining in a bluish light. It was trying to prevent the hand to be cut off. Kumogakure was better prepared in this than he would have given credit them for.

"Hmm…"

"Hmm? What the hell do you mean by 'Hmm'? You are not fucking this up, are you, Kakuzu?!"

"They put you under more serious binding that I have thought. Lie still – I'll have to start… chopping it."

"You… what?" Hidan looked back to him over his shoulder in panic.

"I told you to lie still," he pushed the priest's head down and gave his strength into trying to force the blade through the resistance.

The katana went through flesh and bone inch by inch, the seal trying to force it back all the while. It didn't make Kakuzu's task easier that Hidan kept trashing under him, spilling the dirtiest profanities the masked man ever heard.

"Shut your mouth," panted Kakuzu, as he tried to get a better grip on the bleeding arm. "I've seen you doing more serious harm to yourself during your rituals. You've seemed to enjoy them then."

"It is bloody different when I do it to myself!" Hidan screamed back at him. "That is for the glory of Jashin –sama. And I don't go and try to saw off my arm with a fucking blunt butter knife!" He yelled and bucked again as Kakuzu cut deeper still, almost dislodging the older man from his position.

"There's nothing wrong with the blade, it's the seal…"

"I don't give a flying fuck what it is, just get over with this!"

Kakuzu tried to find a more comfortable position before getting back to the job at hand. The adrenalin rushing though both of their veins, the smell of blood, Hidan's trashing and bucking under him was starting to affect his body. The screams and moans the priest was uttering could be taken not just for pain but for pleasure as well… and he had seen him mix up the two often enough when delivering his absurd ceremonies to think that possible.

After so many years – decades really – his body chose the worst time for waking up and feeling lust again. And for the worst person he could imagine. Idiot Hidan, making everything difficult and causing him inconveniences all the time.

For someone claiming to be immortal and always preaching about the joys of death and destruction he certainly made a big fuss over some pain. He was so ridiculous - being in total ecstasy whenever he made a sacrifice to his stupid deity, cutting and stabbing himself, causing self-harm that would be fatal to any normal man. But if Kakuzu did anything to him, he could whine about it for hours.

Anger flaring up he forced the sword through with all his might and the arm was finally cut off. The seal blazed as if trying to reach for the chopped off part, but went black after a second. The rope loosened and Kakuzu could now easily untie it from both the stump and the remaining hand as well.

For a moment both of them was still, gasping for air. Kakuzu stared down to the spots of blood staining Hidan's back and sleeves. His own trousers were also tinted, darker patches on his thighs and on the tent at his groin. He was completely hard, his cock straining against the front of his pants almost painfully. _Look at this mess – I will be the one left paying for the cleaning again,_ he told himself, but that thought, irksome as it was, wasn't enough to lessen his excitement.

Hidan was lying flat on the ground, looking back at him over his left shoulder. His usually slicked back hair was dishevelled, sticking to his forehead with sweat and he was panting like… like he had been just fucked hard. Kakuzu had to use all his self-restrain to not hack up his robe, push down their pants and do exactly that.

"At least," Kakuzu cleared his throat, trying to act calm, "there's no need to cut off your other hand as well. This seems to have lifted the seal."

Hidan raised his head and laughed shakily.

"That's the fucking news of the century! I can just hope you are better at sewing it back up than hacking it off."

"Keep whining and you'll be left gluing it back yourself." He clambered off the priest and swung the cut off limb in front of his face.

"All right, all right," Hidan sat up and hold out the stump to Kakuzu.

The masked man crouched down in front of him and looked at the wound. It looked terrible, almost as if it had been mangled, but if he stitched it back on, Hidan's amazing healing powers would easily do the rest of the work.

He started to work carefully, extending thin threads from under his stiches and pushing them though the other man's skin. Hidan was moaning and groaning with every pull and push, making concentration difficult. When he was finally ready he cut the tread and observed his work in satisfaction before looking up to the priest.

His breath caught. Hidan was eyeing the bulge in his pants in quite an obvious manner. When he felt Kakuzu's stare he slowly raised his head. Looking him in the eye, the younger man smiled coyly and licked his lips. The challenge was evident in the scarlet eyes. Lust twisted like fire in Kakuzu's groin. It would have been so  _easy_  to accept the challenge. Without doubt a quick, hard fuck was what they both wanted.

What a pity that it would have been a spectacularly idiot idea to act on this lust. Kakuzu had sworn long ago to never mix sex and business. It had been something he was forced to learn early on, and whenever he forgot about it – and he did, a few times in his youth – it always boded disaster. Unfortunate as it was, Hidan was definitely business, stuck as he was with him as partners. The priest was intolerable under normal circumstances already – he didn't want to imagine what he would be like if they became more than forced allies. He needed no stings, no attachments. This unexpected spark of desire just had to go.

So he stood up, shaking his head with slight remorse and put his cloak back on. Hidan stared at him with such indignation that he actually had to fight a laugh down.

"Let's go," he motioned for the zealot to follow, "If anyone else is nearby, they sure as hell heard you."

"But…" started Hidan, before falling silent. Kakuzu watched him with interest – he had never seen the other at loss of words before. His face was like an open book, showing anger, incomprehension and lust in equal measure. Kakuzu had the urge to chide him for being so readable – that was a major weakness after all. Sometimes he forgot that the annoying priest was barely more than a brat.

"You are…" Hidan pointed an accusing finger at him, finding his voice at last "the strangest, unfathomable old prick that I ever had the misfortune of knowing. What the bloody fuck was that? I thought…"

"I said – let's go." Kakuzu interrupted. He really didn't want to discuss their little interlude from normality. With that he turned around and started walking away.

"Wait up, asshole!" Hidan shouted after him. "My scythe was left in the hut. Let me pick it up."

Kakuzu waited him to get his weapon and catch up with him, not stopping his swearing and complaining for a second.

"… and have I told you how I hate that you keep ignoring when I'm speaking? Would it fucking hurt you to actually react once in a while?

"Hidan. Don't you think it's time you get used to it?"

~0~0~0~0~

The worst thing about Kakuzu was that he was impossible to read. Not that Hidan usually made any effort to get to know anyone… still you would think that after a couple of months of being partners he would have got to know the old miser a little. They had been practically spending all of their time together after all, even having common rooms when staying at some village, as Kakuzu always wanted to save money… Hell, he was aware of a few of his personalities, sure, the glaringly obvious ones, that no one could miss after spending five minutes with him…

The way he would go from stoic to a cold blooded killing machine for example. That was something Hidan had learned on their first day together. The masked grouch temper had run out very fast, though all Hidan had been trying to do was to teach him the basic ideas of Jahinism… That was the first time he snapped the priest's neck. That remained his favourite method for silencing him, not that he managed anything permanent with it. Hidan caressed his own neck thoughtfully. Well, it was unblemished and slender, yet muscular – no wonder Kakuzu was obsessed with it.

"Greedy old heathen," he mumbled, not sure if he should be amazed or offended by this thought. Kakuzu pretended not to have heard him.

 _Well, let's see, what else do I know about him?_ He eyed the broad back thoughtfully.

One: he was greedy for money, though Jashin knew what he did with it, as if he had to spend on anything he behaved as if they were pulling his teeth – without anaesthetic.

Two: he despised all kind of spiritualism, being a down-to earth, atheist bastard.

Three: he had mind blowing physical strength and the strangest, creepiest ninjutsus.

Four: he was a sadistic old control freak, who couldn't stand not being in charge in any situation.

His thoughts –again – wondered back to the previous day's happenings. In view of all the things he knew about Kakuzu – it still didn't make a fucking sense. Not the part where he got a hard on while amputating (in a very amateur manner) Hidan's hand. That fitted nicely into the picture. Hidan did consider him a bloodthirsty, sadistic predator wanting to be dominant all the time.

What he couldn't comprehend was why he didn't take advantage of the situation. It wasn't like him, not taking what he wanted, was it? And it wasn't that Hidan could have stopped him. Or wanted to stop him. So why,  _why_ he choose to ignore what had been happening?!

"You're gonna drive me mad, you know," he said out loud.

"I doubt that's possible," came the stolid response "as for that you'd need to be normal as a start."

"Very funny, asshole." He caught up with Kakuzu and stared at him until, obviously irritated, he turned to look at Hidan.

"What it is now?"

"I've been thinking about yesterday."

"How many times do I have to tell you that it wasn't my fault your hand could be cut off only with some difficulty?"

"Not about that," Hidan waved his hand dismissively. The wound healed completely by now. "Though I don't want to imagine what mess you create when you are tearing out hearts if a simple mutilation caused you that much trouble."

"Than what do you want?"

"Tell me – why didn't you fuck me what you had the chance? It was an opportunity never to return, I hope you know that."

Kakuzu started at him as if he had lost his marbles, then snorted so hard that Hidan could have taken it for a laugh, if he didn't know better.

"Let's put it like this. You are not my type."

"Whaaat?" Rage boiled up in him. How dare he say  _Hidan_ wasn't _his_ type? Kakuzu's, who was what? Two hundred years old? With a body stitched together like a ragdoll put through hell by a few generations of unruly children. Kakuzu, who kept hiding his ugly gob under a mask and hood…

"You are joking, right, you old bastard? The fuck is your problem with me?" The most annoying thing was that he could actually see the amusement in the red – green eyes.

"You are an imbecile. A rash, fanatic, scrawny kid. I can't see why this comes as such a surprise."

_I'll kill him. Cut out all five of his black hearts and feed them to him._

"You son of a bitch, you know who is  _scrawny_! It was pretty obvious that you wanted me. So what a shitty excuse is that?"

"Hidan. The only thing I want from you is you to learn to keep your mouth shut!"

"Fuck that! I've seen what I've seen. I don't know why you won't admit..."

Kakuzu stopped for a second, and looked up Hidan from head to toe, with a derogatory look in his eyes.

"You were imagining things."

A red cloud of rage settled before Hidan's eyes. He charged on the miser, but as soon as he raised his hand, Kakuzu's gripped his wrist and twisted until the priest fall down on his knees.

He looked up panting and snarling. It wasn't anything new, finding himself on the ground in front of the older man after one of their disagreements. Still, it was different from all the previous times. Never before did he get aroused from being manhandled by Kakuzu. Nor did he want to reach out and check if the old miser was hard as well with Hidan kneeling before him at any other time.

It was all bloody Kakuzu's fault. Had he finished what they both wanted he wouldn't keep thinking about it.

He licked his suddenly dry lips, and was sure he saw Kakuzu's eyes flare up. But with what, lust or anger, he couldn't tell. Before he could make up his mind how to go on, Kakuzu released him and walked away without a word.

Hidan stared after him in silent fury, though his rage didn't do anything to lessen his arousal. He stood up slowly, brushed the dust from his robe and tried to arrange his most cherished bits into a more comfortable position in his suddenly too tight pants.

"So be it you bitch," he muttered to himself "we can play this game like this if that's what you want. I swear to Jashin that I'm going to get you, even if I have to nail your hands and legs to a bed for it." Cheering up by that thought he flashed a manic grin at the other's retreating back. Kakuzu stood no chance against his seductive powers that was for sure.

 


	3. III.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hidan’s parts keep turning out longer than Kakuzu’s despite my efforts… I just can’t make him shut up. Still, I’m rather satisfied with this chapter, I hope you will enjoy.

**~0~0~0~0~**

"That should be it," Kakuzu pointed at the small town hidden in the valley below them. "We will meet our contact here."

Hidan looked down to the dusty rows of houses without any interest. He was – once again – standing too close. In the last few days it became apparent that the brat couldn't take rejection at all. Most of the time he did nothing obvious… but he managed to get under Kakuzu's skin just the same. Even more than usual, that is.

In all honesty, they were just small things. The way he started to stand too close for comfort whenever they were speaking for example. Like now, their sleeves brushing, ignoring Kakuzu's personal space completely. He had also picked up the habit of reaching out to him – just a light hand on his shoulder or a slight grip on his arm. He had never dared it before, and Kakuzu should have ripped his head off for it, weren't for the creeping suspicion that it would just give the priest the attention he was trying to get.

There were other changes as well. Situations where he couldn't decide if the zealot acted differently on purpose or if it was just him, giving the annoying brat more attention than he normally did. Morning prayers carried out half-naked were the most frustrating of all. Kakuzu never before had the urge to pay any attention to the bizarre ceremonies, so he couldn't tell if they had always been like this. Hidan being so evidently ecstatic as he mouthed silent words, eyes rolling back, sweat and sometimes blood glistening on his slender neck, muscles flexing on his sculptured chest…

Since the incident with Cloud, he caught himself looking at his partner more often. And always, every time, the priest was looking back. If only the little idiot would have understood when he was told no… The whole episode should have been behind them now and forgotten. But if an idea got stuck in his one-tracked mind, he refused to let it go. No wonder that he was so obsessed with his stupid religion.

For being an S-ranked missing nin and a supposed priest of a supposed god, Hidan had next to no self-restraint. He only concentrated on what he wanted at the given moment, and he couldn't be deterred by anything. Kakuzu tried to talk a few times about Kumogakure's attack – they obviously knew who Hidan was and about his so called immortality – but the priest didn't seem to care the slightest. He was too occupied with Jashin and with forcing some reaction out of Kakuzu. Probably there was no space in his tiny brain for a third thought.

 _It's a lucky thing that at least I know what self-control is._  The masked man sighed in aggravation as he stepped away from Hidan and started to descend on the scarp. Every time he was tempted – either to kill Hidan, or fuck him, or when the zealot managed to  _really_  make him mad, both – he just had to remind himself that if the little idiot was irritating now, how much more so he would be after getting what he wanted.

"Tell me Kakuzu," Hidan interrupted his thoughts "why do we have to keep staying in such dump holes? Camping for three weeks in the wild and still we can't visit a normal town."

"If you have paid any attention on the last meeting you would know that this is where we get the details of our next mission. And maybe we can get some information on your captors as well. Not to mention that bigger towns are more expensive…"

"You miser. I can't understand your fixation with money, Kakuzu.  _Money_ ," he spat the word like it burnt his tongue "dissolves, flows away, until nothing is left in its wake. How come that you found nothing more significant in what, a hundred and seventy years?"

"Don't be cheeky,  _brat._ If by some miracle you will live half of the years I had, you will find that it's only money that has an everlasting power. Jutsu, techniques… always a stronger one is created.  _Religions_ ," he made sure Hidan could hear  _his_  distaste "disappear without trace once their believers are no longer strong enough. There's one thing that resists time, and that is the omnipotence of money."

Hidan stopped in his track. Kakuzu could feel his outraged gaze trying to burn a hole through his back and was prepared for an attack, the standard reply from the priest to their disagreements. This time however Hidan surprised him with catching up with him without any rampage.

"That's a fucked up logic, Kakuzu. I was given immortality by Jashin-sama – I know what his power means. You say I will change my mind if I have lived half of what you did. You know what? Let's make a bet. If in fifty years I will still think the same – you lose."

"I sincerely hope that after half a century I won't be still stuck with you. But let's imagine the worst, and say that I won't find a way to silence you forever by then. What do you want to bet in?"

"If you lose, and you will, you give me all the money you hauled together," he laughed when Kakuzu visibly shuddered at that idea. "If I would lose, uhm…"

" _When_  you lose," Kakuzu took over, "you will publicly deny your idiotic deity."

"Hey, even the suggestion is blasphemy!"

"Not so confident that you will be such the humble servant of your Jashin in fifty years?"

"Of course I am!" Hidan glared at him, before sticking out his hand. "So be it. It's a whiz!"

He found Hidan's palm unexpectedly soft when they shook hands. Someone who wielded a two handed weapon in battle should had callouses the very least. But as he had a body that was able to heal even the gravest injuries - he shouldn't have been surprised. Of course even with that self-healing ability he wasn't likely to survive fifty years, the reckless way he always fought his battles. The boy – and he wasn't more than that, compared to Kakuzu – could think of himself as someone unable to die, but Kakuzu well knew that real immortality didn't exist. Simply there were people like him, who were _very hard_  to destroy.

"You can let me go now," Hidan grinned at him and Kakuzu, angry that his thoughts carried him away so, jerked his hand back. Insolent nitwit. He surely wouldn't shed a tear when death came for him in the end.

He continued his descend at neck breaking speed, definitely not thinking about religious fanatics dying at young age, nor about cheeky grins or soft, warm palms. He pretended not to have heard Hidan sniggering behind him as he followed.

~0~0~0~0~

Hidan looked around in the raunchy room with unmasked disgust. Kakuzu's standard of their accommodation was always low, but this must be pushing even those limits. Granted, it was cheap – but they could have stayed at a piggery and no one would have noticed the difference.

"You don't want to stray here, do you?"

"Hmm? What's your problem?"

"You have to ask? This place is revolting. Look at that wall… the beds… or the giant cockroaches in the loo."

"This inn had the best prices in town."

"Of course it had, as no one who can see or smell would enter it. That pretty much narrows down the possible clientage. Come on Kakuzu, the second cheapest would do."

"You don't have to stay. Feel free to rent a room wherever you want."

"You very well know that I don't have any money with me." Hidan crossed his arms and looked on in disgust as Kakuzu sat down on one of the dirty beds. He was actually a bit surprised that nothing jumped out from under the covers.

"Bad luck," the bastard was smirking, he could tell it despite the mask. "I suggest you to prey to Jashin, maybe he will create better room for you.  _Free of charge."_

"I hate you," Hidan stated with feeling. "All right asshole, you think you won this round, but if I catch any infections you will pay for the treatment!"

Of course no matter how much he whined they stayed. He could just hope that their contact will show up soon and they wouldn't have to spend too much time closed in there.

He even followed Kakuzu out to the town. By their usual routine Hidan usually stayed at the inn while the masked man explored the ground, but this time Hidan wanted to be out of their room as much as possible. Though what Kakuzu hoped to find in such a cesspool of a town Hidan couldn't fathom. Hostile shinobi boring their assess off? A suitcase full of money hidden under one of the crumbling walls?

They went to the meeting-point first to look around. Hidan couldn't remember who and when they were supposed to meet, as he always left the details to Kakuzu. He usually spent the Akatsuki meetings praying or daydreaming silently. The main reason he had joined the organization was for the potential of causing more destruction and thus serving his god even better. Tactics, scheming and finances just bored him. His partner was always up to date on this kind of shit, so there was no point with bothering with them anyway.

It looked like their contact wasn't in the town yet, so he followed Kakuzu on his rounds through the streets, yawning in boredom. The masked man stopped now and then, trying to gather information he deemed important. Hidan amused himself with watching the faces of the poor misfortunates Kakuzu questioned. All of them seemed to be on the verge of wetting themselves in fear.

"Shi…shinobi? From Hi-Hidden Cloud?" stammered the bald innkeeper of the 'Three Fat Cats'. Hidan looked around in envy – the place looked so much nicer than the one they were staying at. It was also pretty popular; the common room was stuffed with people although the night was still young. The guests kept shooting them intrigued or frightened glances, though few were stupid enough to stare at them openly.

"Yes. From Hidden Cloud. A tall, muscular woman with long, blond hair and two younger men. One of them had a tattoo over his eyebrow. Have you seen them?" Kakuzu leaned in closer to the sweating man, who started to tremble. He seemed too frightened to be able to utter a word. Kakuzu looked furious, Hidan noted with savage joy. If he got really angry not many from the pub would survive and finally Hidan could have some fun as well. He was itching to reach for his scythe for hours anyway.

The situation was saved, or spoiled, depending on how you looked at it, by one of the waitresses. She stepped up close to them, sparing Kakuzu a scared glance before quickly turning to Hidan.

"I think I remember them," she smiled warmly at the priest. Hidan, whose mind was already on the upcoming massacre dragged himself back to the present and returned the smile a bit unsurely. She was a pretty little thing, with long brown hair and doe-eyes. Nice, bouncy tits as well, he noticed, glancing at her low cleavage.

"Have you heard what they were talking about? What they were planning?" Kakuzu started to question her immediately.

"N-no," the girl shook her head timidly before quickly turning back to Hidan. She looked up at him from under long eyelashes, cheeks a tad flushed, smiling shyly. Hidan straightened his spine and puffed his chest out automatically – it's been  _ages_  since anyone flirted with him as Kakuzu usually scared off everyone from his vicinity. "I didn't hear much, sir."

"Tell me my darling, what you know of these Hidden Stone chaps."

"Cloud. Hidden Cloud," Kakuzu corrected him with a hiss.

"Whatever," Hidan embraced the girl's shoulders, pulling her close. She blushed a deeper shade of pink, but didn't protest. Hidan winked at her. It's been awhile since he had last made a virgin sacrifice to Jashin-sama. He looked down at the waitress' round heaps thoughtfully and contemplated the possibility of her still being untouched. Well, luckily his god wasn't picky when it came to sacrifices… Maybe something good would come off their staying in this lousy town. He dimly recognised the girl was talking, probably answering his question.

"… only stopped for a drink. They were checking a map, I believe, looking for something. Didn't hear anything much, there's been quite a crowd that day."

"That's all?" Kakuzu asked gruffly.

"Ye-yeah…"

"Don't worry honey, that's…" Hidan couldn't finish the sentence as his partner grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the building.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing? Couldn't you see that she liked me?"

"I saw. However we would draw unnecessary attention to ourselves if come tomorrow the girl's headless corpse would be found. We keep a low profile for now, waiting for the contact and collecting information. After we are finished you can come back to play."

"This is not a game you prick! Jashin-sama needs his sacrifices."

Of course no matter what he said, Kakuzu didn't care the slightest. He brought them some horribly looking, cheap take-away for dinner and ushered him back to the shabby inn. Hidan sat down gingerly on the edge of the squeaking bed and prodded the contents of the box with suspicion. It didn't look fit for human consumption, but pointing that out wouldn't make any difference... Maybe he really should get some money… But no… he chased the idea away. Pursuing material needs didn't fit a holy man like him.

He looked up at Kakuzu with a sigh. His partner had shed his Akatsuki cloak, his mask and hood and was taking slow bites of the mushy rice. Hidan had never thought about it before, but he didn't look half bad when not being covered up completely. He wasn't any less intimidating, but certainly not so… unapproachable. Hidan broke into a predatory grin. This hovel made him forgot temporary, but he remembered now that he had a mission. He had to seduce Kakuzu.

"Well, this muck can't possibly get any more inedible if it gets cold," he announced. "I'm going to have a shower first." He stood up and unclasped his cloak. From the corner of his eyes he saw Kakuzu's glance sweep over his chest and turn away only when he started to unbutton his trousers.  _I'll get you old man, you know you can't resist me._

His joy deflated quickly when he entered the bathroom. The only thing making him step under the mouldy shower was the thought that even if Kakuzu could turn his eyes away from his naked body, his  _wet, naked body_ would be surely too much for him. Warily he turned the tap, and started to scrub away the dirt of their travel. His arm that Kakuzu had amputated and sawn back was still bloody at some places. Probably he would need to wash out his cloak as well…

The shower was really nice, and if he closed his eyes he could relax despite the appearance of the bathroom. He would take his time he decided, and use up all the warm water. His mind wandered back to the busty waitress then without any obvious connection between the two, to Kakuzu. His hand slid lower, rubbing at his flat abdomen.  _Kakuzu with his mask and hood off, naked, lying on a bed._ His cock gave a little twitch, and Hidan leered down at it, now washing his silvery pubic hair. They would have their fun soon enough.  _Kakuzu, spread out and open, muscles flexing under his tanned, scarred skin as Hidan thrusts into him._ He moaned as his cock started to harden at the thought.  _Kakuzu, for once not smirking or scowling, but looking at Hidan with lust and want and appreciation._ He gave into temptation and closed his fist around his stiffened flesh, giving it a teasing pull. When had it become important how the old bastard looked at him, he wondered…

Something big and slimy fell on his shoulder. Hidan gave a shrill cry and jumped back. He slipped, got caught in the dump shower curtain which come off and dropped on his head. He fought for balance for a long moment, before landing ungracefully on his ass.

Kakuzu rushed in with a kunai in his hand, obviously expecting someone invading the bathroom. His disbelieving glance fell on Hidan, who was struggling out of the embrace of the curtain and cursing loudly. The priest felt his face heating up in embarrassment. Some days it looked like that no matter what he did, he always managed to belittle himself in front of his partner.

"Something jumped on me!" he hastened to explain his situation. "From the window!"

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow, then leaning in under the still flowing water he pinned the attacker on his knife. It was a wizened, fusty washing sponge, probably left behind by one of the previous inhabitants of their room.

Hidan, now standing and curtain-free, tried to return his partner's mocking stare with a blank face.

"I told you this place is disgusting. I finished washing," saving the remains of his dignity, he swept out with his head held high.

He heard Kakuzu turning the water off and coming out after him. He caught the grey towel thrown at him by reflex.

"Dry yourself. You are dripping all over the place," Hidan eyed his partner in suspicion. The corners of the stitched mouth were twitching, as if the heathen miser was fighting down laughter. Peeved, Hidan turned his nose up and started to rub his hair dry. When he realized that the other man still hadn't moved from the bathroom door he pulled the towel away and peered at him.

Kakuzu was leaning against the doorframe, his eyes fixed on Hidan. The look the older man eyed him with sent shivers down his spine. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling, but it wasn't simple desire either. That was a look of a predator, ready to jump on his prey. Hidan had only seen that stare from him once before, when they had managed to hunt down a wanted shinobi worth a peculiarly high bounty. Being the target of that look made him want to reach for his scythe, but resisted the urge. He won't attack, he told himself, at least not the way as if in a battle.

When Kakuzu advanced on him slowly, Hidan involuntarily took a defensive position, bending his knees slightly, ready for a punch just as much as something more pleasurable. He shivered again from excitement and licked his suddenly dry lips. Kakuzu's eyes focused on his tongue and mouth but his face remained unreadable.

When he stopped at arm's length Hidan found that he didn't care that much what was coming. Should they fight or should they fuck – both promised to be painful but delightful as well. He was ready for both, but Kakuzu remained motionless, as if he wasn't sure either how should he proceed.

Hidan wasn't known for his patience under the best circumstances. Right now he was naked, dripping water and hard again – so he was more impatient than ever. He lasted about half a minute before he swung into action, not certain himself whether he wanted to drag the teasing old miser close or knock him out.

Kakuzu grabbed his wrist before he could reach him. Hidan let his body turn with the motion and kicked the other man's side full force. Excited laughter bubbled up from him, just to find all of his breath squeezed out of him a second later, as Kakuzu smashed him against the wall.

A stitched arm pushed his neck against the mouldy wallpaper with such pressure that his vision started to grey out. He tried to kick the other away, but he didn't have the space to give force into the movement. Kakuzu grabbed his leg with ease and lifted up his whole body until the priest found himself standing on only the tiptoes of one leg.

It was infuriating, being immobilized so effortlessly, but not that much to keep him from appreciating the way their bodies were now touching. He could feel Kakuzu's hard on even through the rough material of his trousers, pushing against his naked thigh with impatience.

As much as he could in his awkward position he arched his shoulders back, pushing his groin against the other man. Kakuzu's fingers dug into his flesh with such force that Hidan was sure he drew blood.

 _Fuck, yes,_ he thought hazily, pushing his hips up, trying to get more friction.  _Finally._

A second later he found himself on the ground as Kakuzu released him and stepped away. Anger flaring up, he yanked the legs of his pants so hard that he tore it.

"Where the bloody fuck you think you going?" he hissed up at the bastard.

"This is a bad idea," despite the obvious tent in his trousers, Kakuzu sounded calm. As if it wasn't him pushing Hidan against the wall a moment ago, ready to fuck him.

"Oh, really? This tells otherwise," fast as lightning he reached out and grabbed the other's stiffened cock. He saw the red-green eyes lose focus for a second. Pressing his advantage he quickly shifted to his knees and opened the other's trousers. But before he could reach inside Kakuzu grabbed his wrists and yanked him up from the ground.

"Hidan! Think for once…"

"I can think till the end of my bloody  _life_  you motherfucker, but still wouldn't get what your problem is!"

"It would be against all of my rules…"

"Rules? Since when have you started to have any bloody rules…?"

"I'm not fucking someone I have to work with afterwards. It's bad for business."

"What a cretin rule is  _that_?" Hidan shouted at him, face red. "You just made this up right now, I bet! Or if you didn't - you will still make an exception with me."

"The last person on earth who I want to make an exception is with is  _you_!" Kakuzu snarled back. "Just look at yourself, you are nothing but an idiot _child,_ throwing a tantrum when not getting what you want! I'm fed up with you. I'm going out – pull yourself together by the time I'm back!" With that he picked up his cloak and mask and fled the room.

Hidan followed him, screaming profanities and threats. A few doors opened and sleepy guests peered out. One look at the rampaging, naked priest convinced all of them to quickly pull their heads back and lock themselves in.

After Kakuzu was gone Hidan stormed back to their room and thrown himself down on the bastard's bed. Fuming, but not any less horny, he started to jerk off with fast, furious movements.  _Kakuzu trussed up, helpless and crying like a sissy as he’s fucked hard in the ass._ He came in no time and smeared the goo from his palm on the other's pillow with childish joy.

"We are not yet finished, you bitch," he muttered as he stepped under the shower again. "I'll get you, I swear, Jashin help me. You can be a stubborn prick, but I'm still better than you."


	4. IV.

~0~0~0~0~

Kakuzu feverishly hoped their contact would to turn up soon. The last three days with Hidan had been harder on him than the whole half a year spent together as partners… and previously he considered  _that_  one of the most tiring period of his long life.

Though the priest didn't mention what had happened – and was happening – between them, it was obvious he didn't let it go either. Hidan wasn't someone who believed in subtlety after all. Everything he did had a glaringly obvious reason.

Like how he started to waltz around completely naked whenever they were at the Inn.

He showered with the bathroom door open, he slept nude, he carried out his prayers and ceremonies without anything on… by all means he shed all of his clothing the moment he was through the door of their room.

Kakuzu was furious with him, but even more so with himself as he couldn't deny that this little show affected him.

Hidan kept following him around on his rounds in the town as well. Not that he was any help in gathering information. When Kakuzu rounded on him and questioned his indifference about why Kumogakure wanted to capture him, he just shrugged and flashed one of his shit-eating grins.

"Isn't that obvious? News got around of how special I am. They want the secret of my immortality, the heathen bastards. Don't tell me you were never attacked for your – what do you call them?  _Life extending_  techniques."

He kept on grinning, flashing his teeth with his usual cocky, slightly insane way which Kakuzu had always found so irritating… and in the last few days, maddeningly, seductive as well. But that didn't matter. He wouldn't change his mind because of such a cracked brat.

Every time he was tempted he just imagined the self-satisfied look on the other's face that would surely appear would he win against Kakuzu. That hardened his resolve.

So he didn't bat an eye when Hidan stepped out naked and dripping water from the bathroom. He stared at the ceiling with grim determination when he heard the priest tossing and turning at night. He convinced himself that the priest just couldn't sleep on the bumpy mattress and it wasn't anything  _else_  keeping him up. He ignored his own awakening arousal even when he heard the shameless idiot not-quite stifle a sigh that could just as well be a moan.

He even tried to be stoic when on their third night in town he found Hidan – crossing all boundaries of sanity – carrying out a ritual in their room. Although he couldn't quite ignore the priest's groans as he sunk the pike into his own chest and abdomen, chanting his stupid little prayers. Naked as he was, there could be no doubt that the self-torment caused him just as much pleasure as pain.

"Do you really have to do this?!" Kakuzu snapped when Hidan freed the weapon with an obscene smack from his flesh and their eyes met. "You are bleeding all over the place, it's sickening… They will charge us extra for this mess you created."

"I've no choice," Hidan was leering at him, probably aware that Kakuzu didn't really find the show repulsive. "As you don't let me present a real sacrifice while we are in town, I have to offer Jashin-sama my own blood."

"But you are not actually suffering any harm of it!"

"Jashin is benignant with his humble follower enough to appreciate the gesture." Kakuzu could have kicked him for the fake devout expression on his face.

"The innkeeper won't appreciate the bloodstains on the floor."

"But you don't really mind me doing this, do you, Kakuzu?"

He stood up and left without a word, which was as good as a confession.  _You are too old for this shit, so get a grip,_ he told himself sternly as he roamed the streets without aim. He couldn't let someone like  _Hidan_  get the better out of him.

He ended up at the only brothel in the town. The owner, a voluptuous, middle aged woman in heavy make-up gave a scornful snort when he asked for the cheapest girl. Still the price was so scandalously high that he left the establishment without his business finished. He was not yet desperate enough to pay  _that much_  for a whore. The last time he spent his money in this industry they have asked about quarter of this amount. Truth to be told, that have been some thirty years ago, give or take five years… or maybe ten… but even that didn't warrant such a rise in the prices.

"Bloody Hidan," he muttered as he walked back to the inn. Ignoring the priest's knowing smirk, he went to the bathroom, made sure the door was locked and took care of his problem the solitary way.

On the fourth day the much awaited contact had finally shown up. The grey little man handled over a scroll containing the information their leader had gathered than disappeared so quickly as if he was never there at all.

"So where that bejewelled freak is sending us now?" Hidan leaned over Kakuzu's shoulder, his chest touching his back as he looked at the scroll. Kakuzu gave him an annoyed glare and stepped away.

" _Pein-sama_ got some information on the whereabouts of the Two-tails. It is hidden away here, at the Land of Lightning just as it was rumoured." He contemplated the coordinates with furrowed eyebrows. "It would still take us some time to find the exact location."

"So a Jinchuuriki, eh? Something that can prove to be a challenge at last. Although I hoped we will get to travel to a different country. I'm really fed up with Lightning already. The climate sucks, the villages are shitholes, and we never found a halfway decent place to stay…"

"Hidan. Shut up and let's go."

They were well out of the boundaries of the town when Hidan finally fell silent. The way he raised his eyebrows and made a quickly aborted movement as if he wanted to turn around told Kakuzu that finally he noticed that they were being followed.

"Hey…"

"I know. Let's wait, we will see what they want."

"Oh come on, Kakuzu! We didn't have any action in ages! I'm becoming all rusty. They would make an ideal sacrifice."

"We wait."

"By Jashin, you are a boring asshole! If I have to wait, you have to let me take on all three of them."

"If you want to. But don't expect me to help out if you get into trouble."

It was the second dawn spent out of the town when their stalkers made their move. Sneaky bastards tried to take down Kakuzu first, with a shuriken aimed straight to his forehead just as he was getting up. The masked Akatsuki didn't bother with ducking, just hardened his skin and let the weapon fall off harmless as it met his raised forearm. Hidan, who was obviously just pretending to be asleep, jumped up with a shrill battle cry and grabbed his scythe.

Kakuzu quickly rolled out of the fire line as three Kumogakure nins charged on Hidan. When it became obvious that they would leave Kakuzu in peace if he didn't get involved in the fight, the masked man leaned against the truck of a tree and let Hidan play.

The enemy trio wasn't weak – but they weren't strong enough either. The priest, if he deigned to pay some attention and not just rush ahead into battle recklessly was a great fighter. Kakuzu rather enjoyed watching him vaulting around, graceful but deadly, performing an excitingly macabre dance with his scythe. Kakuzu's cock actually gave an interested little twitch when the first shinobi fell, the three red blades piercing his belly and emerging through his back. The ex- Takigakure nin pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He was really losing it.

In no time the second enemy followed the first, crumbling down in front of Hidan dying or at least mortally wounded. The last man standing cursed as he jumped away from the blades of the scythe, but not fast enough to avoid his blood to be drawn. Kakuzu involuntarily straightened as the priest licked the thick, red liquid from the tip of the blade. He would have never admitted it, but he actually liked watching Hidan shift forms.

The fair skin darkening to pitch black, the white markings of a crude skeleton – he was a different creature like this, some demon maybe, a true messenger of annihilation. It was a reminder that he was dangerous, not simply an irresponsible brat with a dirty mouth as Kakuzu usually thought of him.

The last surviving Cloud nin charged, but Hidan, now standing in the symbol of his god, simply stabbed his pike through his own thigh. The attacker fell face first to the ground. Hidan's mad laugh usually got on Kakuzu's nerves, but he was obviously getting used to it. Instead of usual irritation he caught himself looking forward to hear it again. _Definitely losing it. If I let Hidan rub off on me so, I'll be a sicko as him in no time._ Still, he didn't turn his eyes away from the unfolding drama in front of him.

Hidan waited for his opponent to scramble to his feet and attack again before plunging the pike through his own stomach. The Takigakure shinobi fell down on his knees and coughed up blood. Kakuzu saw a trickle of blood dripping down from the corner of Hidan's mouth as well, but that didn't wipe the grin from the ebony face.

"Wh… what are you?" the dying ninja gurgled.

"I am Jashin-sama's chosen one. I am… Death." His enemy tried to leap at him with the last remains of his strength, but couldn't reach the zealot before he plunged the javelin into his own heart. The man collapsed on the ground, while Hidan slowly sank to his knees, eyes rolled up in pained ecstasy, probably seeing the deranged heaven only he had admittance to.

Kakuzu shook his head in disgust. So bloody theatrical. At least he didn't drag is out so much as he usually did. He walked closer as Hidan's skin slowly turned back to normal. The priest's eyes were halfway open but only the white showed and his lips were moving, murmuring his elated prayers.

Kakuzu checked on the fallen enemies, but all three of them were dead already. Other than all of them wearing headbands with Takigakure's symbol, he couldn't tell much else with looking at the corpses. As Hidan was still busy in his little Jashinist world, he crouched down with a sigh and searched their bags and pockets. He didn't find anything of real interest or value, and as it was usual with shinobi, they carried next to nothing money on them.

"Robbing the dead?" he heard the disdainful voice of his partner from behind. "That is low, even for you, Kakuzu."

"They will hardly need their money any longer. The scavengers wouldn't make any use if it either, so why let it go to waste? I take you have finished your little comedy here?"

"Getting there, don't rush me!"

Kakuzu gave him five more minutes before losing all his patience. He stepped up to his partner in the end and wrenched the pike from his chest. Hidan howled and pushed his hand to the wound, trying to force back his gushing blood.

"You fucking godless freak! Is nothing sacred for you?!"

"Stop whining, I have waited long enough for you as it is. Get yourself together and let's get going."

Hidan made a rude gesture, but he got on his feet nevertheless. He staggered after a step and Kakuzu automatically grabbed the back of his cloak to keep him from falling to the ground.

"Whoops," a more pallid than usual Hidan grinned up at him, "I'm a bit dizzy. Must have lost more blood then I thought. Let me rest for a while."

Kakuzu helped him to sit down and gave him some water. As a second thought he even pulled the least bloody shirt down from one of their opponents and handled it over to the zealot so he could clean himself up a bit. He knew from experience that Hidan would start to whine for a shower in a very short time _. The consecrated priest of Jashin had to be clean at all time. Bah!_ He should have tried to avoid getting bloody at every opportunity. Kakuzu had never known anyone else who washed himself that much.

"I love when you are being so caring," Hidan taunted him when he handled him the rag.

"Shut up and get going already," Kakuzu growled. "We are still in the vicinity of the town, and we don't need to be located in the joyful company of three corpses."

"All right, all right… slave driver!" He got on his feet and followed Kakuzu, stumbling at every other step, continuously complaining about the too fast pace. Gritting his teeth, Kakuzu turned back to him when he started to lag behind. He grabbed the surprised priest, threw his hand over his shoulders then half carrying his partner he started on the road again. He was really fed up with setbacks and this was – this was the easiest way, really.

After a few steps, Hidan put more of his weight on him, almost as if he wanted to lay his head on his shoulder. Kakuzu would have betted on a larger amount that the brat was grinning, but he didn't look down to his face to check. It was an improvement that he didn't make any smart comments after all. Kakuzu swore that if the little idiot so much as opened his mouth, he would let hell loose.

~o~o~o~o~

Hidan knew from the neck-breaking pace Kakuzu set that the masked man was irritated. Still he was supporting, almost carrying Hidan for hours, so the priest decided to make best of the situation. The dizziness that had hit him after the ritual – and loosing too much blood could cause that even to him – was long gone, but he hadn't said a word about it. It was rather pleasant like this, leaning onto the muscled shoulder of his partner with half of his weight. He even drifted off for minutes.

"Hey Kakuzu," he broke the silence at last. "I think I saw a stream behind those trees. Let's have a break so I can wash the blood off."

Somewhat to his surprise, Kakuzu turned to the given direction without protest. He had to be really caught up in his thoughts – on most occasions he took it as a personal insult if Hidan told him when or where they should take a rest. The priest eyed his face from the corner of his eyes, trying to decipher what he might be thinking. It was hard to tell anything, with the mask and hood covering so much up. He could recognize Kakuzu being stoic or in rage even from the little bit that was showing – having seen those expressions most often. He couldn't quite decide what was he seeing now, but certainly not these two most frequent emotions. He looked…maybe troubled. Hidan had always sucked at empathy, and he was sure that to try to read Kakuzu would be biting of more than he could chew.

"Why do you keep covering yourself up? I don't see the point," he told him straight away as they stopped, reaching up to tug on the mask gently.

"Haven't we talked about this already?" Kakuzu pulled his head back in surprise, stepping away. Hidan felt a pang disappointment at the loss of contact. "It gives a tactical advantage in battle, if the enemy can't see…"

"I know, I know," Hidan waved this reasoning away as he took off his rather ravaged cloak. "But when it's only the two of us. We are actually comrades, aren't we?"

"Are we?" Kakuzu raised one eyebrow, but his tone remained light, teasing. "For me it looks like we are fighting all the time."

Hidan ignored that comment, focusing on rather the inspection of the self-inflicted wounds he caused during his ritual. They had skinned over completely by now, leaving only pink patches on his fair skin. Still, his whole chest was itching under the dried blood covering it. He could hardly peel off his pants as it stuck to his thigh around the now gone wound. He glanced up at Kakuzu, and was satisfied to see the red – green eyes watching him.

"I think I will need a new uniform," he held up his torn Akatsuki cloak for his partner to see. "If treasurer – sama would purchase me a new one…"

"Forget it!" Kakuzu was apparently scandalized by the suggestion. "You should learn to take better care of your things." He grabbed the cloak from the priest's hands and studied the torn material. "If you wash it out and sew the holes up it will be good as new."

"Who do you take me for," Hidan laughed at that "a seamstress? I only know how to get things torn. Come on, Kakuzu! How much can a new cape cost? And may need new pants as well…."

His masked partner was obviously having an inner battle. Hidan cautiously took a few steps backwards – such inner struggles usually aggravated Kakuzu to the point when it became painful for Hidan.

"Wash them," the older man finally thrown the garment back to him, "and I'll sew them up for you," he gritted out the words as if they had hurt him.

"Wow, Kakuzu, that is really nice of you," Hidan quickly turned away as he was afraid laughter would burst out of him and was sure that he would lose a him a limb or two for that. Not that he was afraid of the old grouch– after all, he could hardy do anything permanent to Hidan – but he was about to wash the blood off from himself and not to get even dirtier. He was also hesitant to spoil the surprisingly easy atmosphere they were having.

He waddled into the rapid –flowing stream. The water came just above his knees, but was so icy that he couldn't suppress a yell.

"What it is now?" he heard Kakuzu grunt behind him.

"It is bloody fucking cold, that's what is! Jashin help me… this wasn't a good idea after all," he wanted to climb out, but Kakuzu blocked his way.

"Get over with it. And take your clothes with you."

"You sadistic prick," Hidan muttered, but splashed back to the middle of the drift. His legs already felt like blocks of ice. He crouched down and started to wash the dried blood off with hurried motions. Kakuzu stood on the bank and – this was Hidan sure of – laughed his ass off silently.

"You missed a spot there."

"Fuck you. My balls have just shrunk to the size of a fucking  _peanut,_ so I don't give a shit what I have missed!"

"What will your Jashin say if his priest parades around filthy, in bloodied clothes? I thought that according to your regulations…"

"Shut. Up." he continued scrubbing and rinsed his clothes without much enthusiasm before scrambling back to the bank, shivering violently from head to toe.

Kakuzu was ogling him again, but in his current condition he couldn't be arsed to care about it. He pushed his dripping clothes into the other's hands, and tried to find a sunny spot where he could get a bit of warmth. Unfortunately the forest was too thick for sunlight patches.

"Kakuzu, give me your cloak before I perish in pneumonia."

"Can you catch pneumonia?"

"That's not the point! Just give me your cloak!"

"No way," the bastard snorted. "You should have taken better care of your own." He studied one of the bigger holes on Hidan's soaked cape before extending a thin thread from under the stiches on his forearm. Pushing it through the material he sewed it together.

"Ka-ku-zu… Kakuzu-chan… come on please, I can't dress up in my own anyway, all of my clothes are fucking wet!"

"I said no." He didn't even look up from his work as he quickly and efficiently patched up Hidan's garments.

The priest could have appreciated the gesture – if he wouldn't have felt like dropping dead from the chill, that is. He waited until Kakuzu finished the work on his cloak and hung it up on a low branch before jumping on him.

"Have you gone completely mad?!" his partner, who he didn't manage to surprise, pushed him away roughly. "Stop this, or you can continue this journey naked."

"You'd love that you old pervert, wouldn't you?" Hidan snarled, clattering teeth bared. "Come on, give me that lousy cloak! You can't be such a fucking miser!" He charged on again, trying to get a hold on Kakuzu's cloak and pull it off. The mean bastard tried struggle him off, but the one good thing about the skinny dripping had been that now he was just as slippery as he was cold.

"Hidan, this is the last warning I'm…"

The shivering priest pulled on the garment a bit too hard, practically tearing off one sleeve. A moment of foreboding silence followed.

"Whoops… what was this crap made of? Toilet paper? Would it have hurt you to give it to me…?"

Next second he was picked up and thrown back to the stream head first by an enraged Kakuzu.


	5. V.

~o~o~o~o~

"Jinchuuriki. Have you ever fought a Jinchuuriki, Kakuzu?"

The masked Akatsuki shot his partner a half annoyed, half curious glance. Hidan was no longer shivering as he walked just a step behind him and it seemed his neck also healed up completely. In the heat of argument about the cloaks Kakuzu  _accidentally_  broke it. The act had the benefit that at first Hidan couldn't speak - then he was peeved enough not to want to say a word. But all miracles have to come to an end…

"I have. With your… predecessor," who hadn't been, now that he thought about it, halfway as irritating as the priest. But he couldn't have known it at the time when he had left the guy in a ditch, gutted.

"So… what was it like?"

"Strong," Kakuzu concluded. He was a bit surprised at Hidan's questioning. He wasn't one to usually prepare for his battles.

"Good. Jashin needs a worthy sacrifice."

"Listen," he stopped and turned to face his partner. "Our instructions are straightforward. We are not to kill, just to incapacitate it, so Akatsuki can use the demon's powers."

"You must be fucking joking! There's only one acceptable ending for a fight– and that is the total annihilation of the enemy! What a bloody blasphemous…"

Kakuzu silently counted to ten as Hidan got carried away in one of his raging tirades. When he failed to get any less annoyed he grabbed the front of the priest's still wet cloak to silence him by force. This time however Hidan was obviously expecting his move. Kakuzu froze in mid motion as he felt the sharp tip of the sacrificial pike pressing in between his ribs, tearing just into his flesh.

"Now listen, you heathen, swollen-headed, arrogant old dick!" Hidan sputtered inches from his face. "I'm fed up with your continuous interruptions! Anger me further and you can wander on with one less of your wizened hearts! Or if my hand slips… with five less."

Kakuzu studied the violet eyes now darkened over in rage. He wasn't afraid of the priest, being absolutely sure that he would easily win if a fight turned serious between them. He might not be able to actually kill the priest – but he could make him regret the day he was born and wish he had never been granted his so-called immortality.

It annoyed him that no matter how many times he promised the idiot that he would send him to hell he never really acted on his threat, though he couldn't explain why. This was more irritating than the continuous ranting, cursing and dumb religiousness… Hidan's mystic power with which he managed to keep Kakuzu from doing any serious harm to him. He knew very well that he could have caused the zealot much worse injuries than the occasional neck-breaking or throttling. He was sure that Hidan knew this as well.

He pushed away the priest in anger with enough force to make him stumble back a few steps. He saw on his snarling, flushed face that he was furious as well, not just keen on provoking Kakuzu like most times he attacked him. Still, the older man turned away to start on the road again. He realized his mistake in the next second.

Hidan raised the pike to his lips and licked the blood from the tip –  _his_  blood, drawn when the priest had pressed the weapon against his chest. Kakuzu pivoted on his heels and charged as his partner's skin turned to black.  _If I give him the chance to draw his cursed symbol I can really lose a heart_ , he realized.

Hidan ducked his first kick and sprinted farther. Kakuzu saw him sinking the weapon into his own arm, spilling blood to draw his god's icon. There was nothing else to do, he had to keep attacking to stop him from finishing the ritual.

This time however Hidan was serious and wasn't going down easily. Kakuzu soon found that he was actually enjoying the fight as it started to prove a challenge. Though he didn't utilize any of his more serious techniques. He didn't need them against someone like  _Hidan_.

He crouched low to avoid the swung of the scythe that would have beheaded him but couldn't quite block a kick that had him staggering a step back. The priest uttered his customary shrill cry, filled with bloodlust and insanity as he pirouetted in the air and tried to sink his weapon into Kakuzu's stomach. The masked shinobi sidestepped just in time, so the attack turned out mostly harmless, the tips of the three blades barely catching his side. He grabbed the hilt of the scythe and gave it a hard pull.

Would Hidan had been at his senses enough to let his weapon go, he might had the chance to get the upper hand still. But he was never one to keep a cool head in a fight, no matter how many times Kakuzu called him an idiot for it. He retained his dead grip on the scythe which made him lose his footing and collide with Kakuzu. Both of them fell to the ground, the older shinobi on his back and the priest halfway on top of him. Hidan tried to free his weapon to attack again, but Kakuzu seized his wrist. The fight was over – there was no way for the zealot to win from this position – but when he was filled with lust to kill like this he completely lost his ability to assess the situation.

Kakuzu used his Earth Spear Technique to harden his skin and increased the pressure on Hidan's wrist, grinding the bones together until he could feel they were about to break. The priest yelled – more in frustration than in pain – as his grip loosened on his weapon despite his will.

He attacked with his free hand, his fingers bended like talons as if he wanted to gouge out Kakuzu's eyes. He clawed three bloody arcs from temple to chin into his skin, tearing off his mask before Kakuzu managed to capture his other wrist as well.

"Give up!" he panted.

"Against you? Never!" Still under the effects of the Jashinist ritual Hidan's face was a savage mask with his black skin and white markings. He was snarling like a rabid animal as he tried to free himself. Kakuzu increased the pressure of his grip further.

"Give up, or I won't leave a whole bone in your body!"

Hidan headbutted him. The skin above Kakuzu's eyebrow split open and his eyes lost focus for a moment. The priest went completely wild – as he couldn't use his hands he kicked and bit, trashing to get out of his partner's grasp. Kakuzu was momentarily surprised by the vehement and rather un-ninja like attack.

However when he felt Hidan's sharp teeth sinking into his neck – with the apparent intent of tearing out his windpipe – he had enough. He let his threads burst out from under his stiches and wove them tightly around the priest's crushed wrists. His hands thus freed he grabbed the other's silvery hair and forced his head back.

"Give. Up!" he repeated. "Just admit: you are no match for me."

"To hell with you Kakuzu! Jashin will rot your…"

" _Shut up_  Hidan, or I'll stich up your filthy mouth!"

The priest just made an angry grunt and doubled his efforts to break free. Kakuzu tangled his threads over his legs as well, forcing the raging idiot flat against him. Hidan was still trying to thrash, though he was barely able to move any longer. His skin slowly turned back to its normal tone as his ritual remained unfinished.

For an endless moment they laid there, staring at the other in boiling fury. Kakuzu's face was throbbing painfully where Hidan clawed it. Blood kept dripping into his left eye from above his eyebrow and he wished for a free hand to wipe it away. He was well aware that he let this quarrel go too far. He could have stopped Hidan at the beginning with ease, never giving the priest a chance to even touch him.

He could have said that he underestimated the hot-headed little idiot, but if he was honest with himself – and he usually was – he didn't mind the hand-to-hand fight. Nor did he mind the way they were laying now, practically sandwiched together on the ground. And hell, but he even enjoyed infuriating his partner to his cracking point.

Hidan didn't act defeated even immobilized like this. Probably he was just too stupid to know when to give up. His hands and legs kept twitching as he still tried to free himself and if looks could kill, Kakuzu would have been nothing but a cold body by now.

"Just face it, brat," Kakuzu pushed himself up on one elbow, forcing the priest's head back further still to retain eye contact "that you will never be able to best me."

"One day I will get you Kakuzu," Hidan was wheezing with his fruitless efforts of trying to break free. "And that day I will send your filthy, heathen soul to Jashin!"

"That's never going to happen, it's time for you to realize that."

"I'm better then you! Jashin-sama leads me…"

"You are week and week is your god as well! He shouldn't have chosen such a useless imbecile as his priest, maybe then…"

Hidan went completely wild at that, just as Kakuzu expected him to react. But the little shit deserved it for making his life so unbearable lately. Kakuzu pulled his head even further back to the point where it was a miracle that he wasn't tearing out the other's hair or snapping his neck. He threw a leg over Hidan's thighs, immobilizing him completely.

He could feel Hidan's body radiating heat even through his still damp clothes. Pressed together so completely Kakuzu couldn't deny the effect he was having on him. He couldn't quite resist pushing up his hips against the other's flexing thigh.

The way Hidan suddenly stopped struggling and looked down at him with eyes narrowed to slits told him that the movement registered in his brain. Kakuzu's body, seemingly on its own accord moved again, pressing his stiffening cock against Hidan. Lust replaced blood thirst in the violet eyes as the zealot tried to move to meet Kakuzu's thrusts.

"Let me go," he attempted to pull his hands free from the threads, but the older man ignored him. He yanked on Hidan's hair again, forcing his head downwards this time to sink his teeth into the tender skin of his neck deep enough to taste blood. The priest yelled and shuddered from head to toe.

"Let my hands go," he demanded again and this time Kakuzu humoured him and pulled his threads back. Hidan immediately started to work on the buttons of his cloak. When his hands went to his trousers, first cupping his erection through the material then starting to impatiently unleash it, Kakuzu stopped him.

"What it is now?" he asked in a slightly high pitched voice.

"We are at the middle of the road," Kakuzu was satisfied to hear his own voice even. "Anyone can come this way."

"Let them come. Maybe they will pay for the show," Hidan cackled.

Kakuzu shook his head and stood up, dragging Hidan with him. At least one of them should have enough self-restraint, he thought, gritting his teeth, not to push their pants down where anyone could surprise them. He walked into the woods, Hidan following him.

"If you dare not to finish once again what you have started, Jashin help me, I'll…"

Without a word he grabbed Hidan and pushed him against a tree, pressing their bodies together again. He couldn't repress a moan and the contact. Hidan laughed, a bit breathlessly and in the next instant his hand was in Kakuzu's pants, freeing his erection and wrapping strong fingers around it.

"Finally," he panted, hips gyrating against his partner's "the fuck knows what took you so long… so bloody long… you want this just as much, don't you?"

"Do you ever shut up?" Kakuzu grinded out, even as he gripped Hidan's ass and pulled him closer. Hidan pulled his hand back, quickly unclasping his own cape and pushing down his trousers. Grabbing Kakuzu's shoulders and stood up on his tiptoes to rub their cocks together.

With their bodies pressed flat against each other, chests sweaty, hips thrusting into the non-existent space between them Kakuzu felt the climax of his arousal approaching in no time. Hidan was clinging to his neck, one leg raised high, feet dangling at level with Kakuzu's ass, as if trying to climb him. He was panting in his ear, muttering curses, pleas or just simply gibberish, the older man couldn't quite tell. The pace was too fast, too hurried, but since the first attack of Cloud's hunters the air vibrated with tension between them. Rushed as the act was like this at least it promised quick satisfaction – and that was what he really wanted.

With a growl he grabbed Hidan's hand and pulled it back to his cock. Luckily the priest obeyed the wordless command for once and wrapped his fingers around his member. His other hand roamed his shoulders and upper back. Finding his stiches he tried to push his fingers underneath them. Failing that he gave an unhappy whine and settled for digging his nails into the skin on his back. Kakuzu hissed even as he pushed his own hand between their bodies and mirrored the priest's movements. His left grabbed Hidan's tight ass, hoisting him higher up, fingers pushing in between the cheeks.

"No, wait," Hidan protested "I'm going to… not yet…"

Ignoring the babble, Kakuzu pressed against his entrance, a digit just slipping into the puckered hole. The priest cried " _Jashin_!" somewhat to his annoyance as his cock twitched against Kakuzu's palm. He came, splattering their stomachs and chests. The older shinobi gave a few more thrusts into his grip before finding his release as well.

For a long moment they just stood there, both of them panting hard. Kakuzu supported himself against the tree with one hand as Hidan was clinging to his neck with practically all of his weight. When the priest finally disentangled his arms the older man stepped away and tucked himself back into his trousers. Not just his crotch but his stomach, and thus his shirt as well were sticky. He fleetingly marvelled on the benefits if one, like his partner, didn't wear anything on their chest.

Hidan was now leaning against the tree and didn't seem to mind at all that his pants were still around his ankles. He looked up at Kakuzu from under half lidded eyes and with a cheeky grin.

"Well Kakuzu, that was… quick."

He just raised one eyebrow as an answer for that. Taking off his soiled shirt he tried to wipe himself clean as much as possible.

"I mean _intensive_. Hey, give that to me as well, I'm sticky everywhere." Kakuzu tossed the top at him, and Hidan finally did up his pants, after wiping off the sticky white patches. "I don't say this as a complaint, but next time…"

Kakuzu turned his back on him without a word and went back to the road for his scattered belongings. His problem-free, after-orgasm mood was evaporating. He was annoyed that Hidan got him to lose his self-restraint so.

There will be no next time no matter what the priest assumed, he decided, although even in his own mind it didn't sound terribly convincing. Maybe he should have gotten more out of it, if it was really a one-time thing… He shook his head in anger, trying to get the younger man out of his thoughts. To hell with the whole damned Akatsuki regulations that didn't let him work alone…

He picked up his mask from the ground and patched it up quickly though he would really need to get a new one after this.

"Hey, before you put that on," Hidan stepped up to him "Wait, half of your face is all bloody," somewhat to his shock the priest licked his fingers and started to rub off the now dried patches with his spit.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Kakuzu grabbed his hand as he regained his senses a moment later.

"Huh? What's your problem now? As you so wisely pointed out we are at the middle of a road. If anyone comes this way and sees you like this they will run away screaming in fear."

"Listen you little… don't make the mistake to assume that you can get away with more from now on. Do you understand?" without waiting for an answer he spun around and marched off, silently fuming. Hidan of course fell in step with him immediately.

"Of course Kakuzu. I wouldn't dream of it."

~o~o~o~o~

Hidan was in a sunny mood whole day. He could hardly keep himself from reminding Kakuzu that he lost their little game. As Hidan was sure he would.

 _Heathen old bastard now have to admit that I'm just too good to be ignored._ He surely wouldn't continue to resist after this… but if he would… in that case Hidan just had to make sure he wouldn't be able to get up and leave.

Through his mind's eyes he could see Kakuzu lying pinned to the ground in Jashin's symbol and shivered in delight. Kakuzu defenceless to whatever Hidan wanted to do to him – was there a more exciting fantasy than that? He thought back to their fight and to the way Kakuzu managed to immobilize him with such ease but that just fuelled his lust further. This way or that – so many wonderful possibilities awaited them, all of them desirable. It was high time to present a substantial sacrifice to Jashin – sama to thank him for the partner he had given him. If he could just convert Kakuzu to his religion as well so he would mind something else, not just his bloody finances… Wouldn't that be heaven on earth?

Darkness had closed around them almost completely by the time Kakuzu stopped and announced it was time for them to make their camp for the night. He had been even more silent than usual whole day, but for once Hidan didn't mint it much, caught up as he was in daydreaming.

They left the road and fought through the undergrowth until the masked man finally deemed a clearing suitable for their night's rest. After the usual argument on whether they should light a fire or not, Hidan's standpoint won – it was already autumn after all, and nights started to be fucking cold. If anyone would be suicidal enough to attack them, they could beat them down without doubt, so soon a cheery little fire was burning on the clearing.

"I'm sure your old bones are glad for the warmth as well," Hidan smiled as his partner sat down close to the flames. Kakuzu just shot him an annoyed glare before pulling a book from his pack and started to scrutinize the pages.

"Is that the Bingo book again? I thought you knew everybody in it by heart," then as no reply came: "Hey Kakuzu, want to spend the night doing something more exciting?"

The red-green eyes flashed at his direction for a millisecond before returning to the book.

"No."

 _Of course you do._ Hidan started to unclasp his cloak. The other man didn't look at his direction again, but also forgot to turn pages in his book. Hidan quickly took off his shoes and pants as well. Kakuzu only looked up when he crouched down next to him, completely naked.

"What do you think you are…"

" _You_ should shut up for once, Kakuzu," Hooking his fingers under that annoying mask he pulled it down under the older man's chin and thoughtfully inspected his face. It wasn't what you would call a pleasant complexion, with the constant frown, the stiches and now the marks where Hidan clawed it earlier but he rather liked how fierce it looked. The strange eyes were looking at him coldly, calculating. He could practically hear the cogwheels turning in the other's head, taking the pros and contras into account if he let Hidan carry on.

"Would you stop thinking for once?" the priest snapped.

"Not all of us were graced with an empty head by our god, Hidan."

"Ha-bloody-ha," he started to unbutton Kakuzu's cloak and the miser didn't stop him. By the time he reached the leashes of his trousers, Hidan was fully aroused. After all he had been waiting for this whole day. Kakuzu didn't make a move to stop him, but he wasn't helping in undressing him either. Hidan looked up in frustration. The challenge he found in those assessing eyes were so clear as if the other man had said it out loud. Hidan could either manage to get a reaction out of him – or he would lose.

Flashing the bastard a self-confident smile he shifted until he was crouching between the muscled thighs. Kakuzu was half-hard already and when Hidan took him into his mouth he couldn't repress a shiver.  _I never lose, it's high time you learn that._

It'd been a while since Hidan last did this, and he never had that much of a practice, preferring to be on the receiving end, so he quickly found himself fighting for breath. The position wasn't ideal either, as it put too much strain on his neck with Kakuzu sitting on the ground so that Hidan had to bend low before him. Rocks bit into his knees and arms but he wasn't about to give up just because a bit of discomfort. Glancing up at Kakuzu's face he saw his eyes were closed and his eyebrows drawn together, as if he was concentrating hard on something. He was still holding back, Hidan realized. That just wouldn't do.

He smiled as widely as he could around the cock in his mouth. He ran his hands up on the inside of Kakuzu's thighs before his fingers found the heavy balls, cupping and caressing them. He almost chocked when the older man's hips moved up sharply, forcing most of his prick down the priest's throat.

Tears running down his cheeks, Hidan lifted his head. Kakuzu looked down at him with raised eyebrows.

"That's it? Giving up already?"

"I'm not giving it up you fucking…" Hidan croaked and bent down back over the other's crotch.

Kakuzu was now moving, trying to force the priest to go at the pace he wanted. Although this made Hidan's task harder, he was still satisfied with this development. His partner might not have been bound as in his daytime fantasies, but after a fashion he was still at Hidan's mercy. He didn't mind that breath was hard to take as Kakuzu's hips moved faster and faster or as his hands pushed down Hidan's head to make him take his member in deeper. After all post-orgasmic Kakuzu had to be easier to handle than unsatiated Kakuzu… and then Hidan could have his fun at last.

But just as he thought that the other man would reach his peak, his calloused fingers grabbed fistfuls of his hair and forced his head back and off his cock.

"Kakuzu, you motherfucker, don't pull my hair…" Hidan fall silent when he saw the expression on the other's face. His teeth were bared in a snarl, nostrils flaring as he fought to keep his breathing even. Still his eyes were a tell-tale – they burned with hunger. Hidan licked his lips. He had never seen his partner so exciting before, though he also looked more dangerous than ever. He moved lightning fast and Hidan found himself on his stomach, pressed down to the cold ground. Strong hands pulled his hips back until he was half laying, half kneeling.

Kakuzu kneaded his ass, pulling his cheeks apart before pushing a finger in. Hidan hissed at the dry penetration, but pushed his hips back at the same time. He tried to look back over his shoulder, but Kakuzu leaned over him, putting most of his weight on his back and pushed his head down to the ground with his free hand. Spitting out a bit of dirt that got into his mouth, Hidan had to acknowledge that suddenly things weren't heading to the direction he had planned. Not that is was altogether unexpected or unwelcome.

He wished he had thought ahead and brought some oil to ease the penetration when they had been in town. Kakuzu had now two fingers, barely wet with split up his ass, scissoring them with obvious impatience.

Hidan took a deep breath and tried to relax his muscles when Kakuzu – obviously not a big believer of getting his partners well prepared – pulled his fingers back and pressed something considerably larger against the priest's hole. He sunk into him slowly but mercilessly, fucking into him with short little thrusts, not stopping until his balls pressed against Hidan's ass.

The priest was gasping for air as his hands clawed the dirt beneath him. By Jashin, he forgot how fucking painful this could be.

"Hidan," Kakuzu's voice was hoarse. "Relax. You are too tight."

"Like to see how could  _you_ relax with a cock up your ass," Hidan hissed, affronted. Still he tried, taking another deep breath, tension and pain ebbing away a little. Although he preferred to feel pain if he was the one inflicting it through his victims, he found that he didn't mind it much coming from Kakuzu either.

"It's not the first time that you…" Kakuzu started hesitantly, but his hips were still moving slightly as if he couldn't quite stop himself. Hidan snorted.

"Thanks to Jashin, I always heal, as you well know…"

"So every time you'll be like this?" Kakuzu sounded excited by the prospect. "You have chosen the wrong carrier… an ability like this would be worth a fortune in the right industry." Hidan was too focused on the first part – which meant that Kakuzu did want to repeat this again – to immediately react to the second. When the meaning did register in his brain – which was way to fuzzy with pain and yearning for more - he snapped his head up and looked over his shoulder to glare at the bastard.

"What do you mean you bloody…" Kakuzu pulled out and thrust back forcefully and Hidan forgot about his indignation, head falling back to his folded arms and letting out a moan. It still hurt, but it wasn't something that lessened his lust.

Kakuzu kneeled up and pulled Hidan's hips back with him. The first thrust from this angle hit his prostate and Hidan shouted out, this time in pure ecstasy.

"Kakuzu! Right there! Harder…"

"Shut up, Hidan."

Hidan didn't shut up, but continued to gasp or yell out commands, some of them heeded, most of them ignored, but that really didn't matter as Kakuzu kept hitting that soft spot inside him, making him see stars. Soon he was slamming into him with full force and Hidan gave up even on semi-coherent words and stuck to keening and panting in delight.

When Kakuzu shuddered against him and filled his ass with his seed Hidan gave a whine of disappointment. But the next second his partner pulled him up (by the hair again, but the priest was past the point of protesting) until he was kneeling with his back against the other's wide chest. Kakuzu grabbed his prick and gave it a few hard strokes and that was all it took. He yelled out his partner's name as he came.

Kakuzu held him against his chest, his grip milking Hidan until the very last drop he could give. When he let him go, the priest slumped bonelessly forward, the cock slipping out of his ass with a lewd pop.

Kakuzu dropped down next to him. He was panting, Hidan heard with satisfaction. He wanted the bastard to lose control, to be unable to hold back, to break his stoic mask, and boy, did that plan work out most spectacularly. He raised his head and grinned at him.

"I won."

"Shut up Hidan," Kakuzu's tone was mild. His hand rose to caress Hidan's thigh, smearing the semen that had spilled down on it. The priest put his head back to his arms to hide the stupid little smile that broke out on his face at the surprisingly gentle touch. It felt…  _nice_.

"Come on Kakuzu," he teased, but didn't look up. "You can just admit that even though you have a misery, black soul you've begun to like me."

"I said shut up."

Hidan just laughed at that. He remained lying on his stomach on the cold ground, ignoring how uncomfortable it was as Kakuzu kept caressing his bum, thighs and back. Only when he pulled his hand back did Hidan stood up and went to gather his scattered clothing. He winced at how sticky his lower regions were as he dragged his pants back on. He really had to start to keep an extra pair around– he just washed them that morning and they were all dirty again.

 


	6. VI.

~0~0~0~0~

"… for three bloody years! Honestly - why the fuck would  _anyone_  vow silence for three  _years_? I mean – what's the point? What a cretin religion…"

Kakuzu raised the map higher in front of his face, as an inadequate barrier between himself and Hidan's ranting. Not that it helped to close out any of the nonsense coming out of the priest's mouth.

"… while Jashin – sama's regulations…"

One thing was sure – Hidan wouldn't be able to stand three  _seconds_  of silence. Kakuzu didn't know why he had been afraid that the brat would become unbearable after they fucked. He never had been bearable to begin with…

"…you as well. You'd make an _excellent_ priest with your abilities… Are you paying any attention at all?"

"Hmm."

"Could you be an even more indifferent old prick if you tried?

"Hidan…" Kakuzu glared at him over the edge of his map. The zealot stood in front of him with legs slightly astride, chin held high, fists curled next to his side… his usual let's-have-a-quarrel-with-Kakuzu pose. The sun had just started to rise, they hadn't even eaten their breakfast yet, but Hidan was ready for another futile argument. The older man couldn't comprehend where he was getting the energy from. Kakuzu was not a morning person. At an hour so unholy like this all he craved for was a cup of hot tea and a slow waking up.

But they didn't have any tea leaves, not any boiling water and in the end the slow waking up was made impossible by some intruders and not only by Hidan's ranting. The voice that alerted them was so distant they rather felt than heard it. Hidan shut up at once and looked around. Kakuzu stood up and quickly and soundlessly kicked sand over the smouldering ashes of their campfire and picked up their belongings. Silently as ghosts they advanced on the intruders.

That they found – once again – Hidden Cloud shinobi nearby didn't even surprise Kakuzu. He and Hidan hid in the canopy as two three man group met under them.

"Azetsu," one of them was saying "I get that my message reached you as you are here."

"It did, Tsama-kun. Though I can hardly believe that Amana-san was defeated. She was one of our most excellent Jounins."

"I know. But that's not all, unfortunately. As we left town we found the remains of what had to be Tonka's team. All three of them were slaughtered. I can understand why Yugakure wants this monster to be finished off. Though I have the feeling that Hidden Cloud hasn’t been paid well enough for this job."

"Well, that's up to the Raikage to decide, isn't it? What we can do is to capture him to end the mission successfully. I have to say though that after what he'd done I'd very much like to finish off this monster for my own amusement as well."

 _Denkou Tsama._  Kakuzu's fingers actually itched as he kept himself back from pulling out the Bingo book and check. But no – if he moved the group below them would surely notice their presence. Anyway he was sure without any further verification that the man was him. He had seen countless times his picture and read his name. The man was worth thirty-five million Ryo. What an unexpectedly wonderful surprise to have Cloud send such a wanted man after Hidan. That would at least partially make up for all the extra costs he had to spend on the priest so far.

The shinobi under them seemed to come to a decision in the meantime. Agreeing to stay in touch one team went ahead on the road – the same way the two Akatsuki members were originally heading. Denkou and his two subordinates however detoured from the road to the direction where the two Akatsuki had spent the night.

"So Kakuzu, what should we do?" Hidan resisted saying a word until they were out of earshot, which was a small miracle. "Should we get around these fuckheads on the road or is it faster if we cut our way through them?"

"We go after the other team."

"Huh? What for?"

Kakuzu pulled out the Bingo book and searched for his victim-to-be. He was proud that he even remembered the page number correctly. He showed the picture to his partner, who just stared blankly at it for a moment before putting two and two together.

"Don't fuck with me Kakuzu! We had enough of your private jobs already."

"Headhunting is not simply a private job. I increase the income of the Akatsuki as well. And I am the only one who bothers with that. You brats think that money grows on trees and all you know is how to spend it…"

Hidan just shrugged his shoulders muttering something about sacrifices to Jashin and followed him. They caught up with the enemy at the spot they camped the night before. Denkou was crouched next to the remains of their campfire, while the other two ninjas were scrutinizing the surrounding woods. Kakuzu didn't think it likely that they would have a hard time beating them down.

Denkou straightened up and turned towards them although he couldn't see them yet.

"I know you are there," he challenged "show yourself!"

Kakuzu slowly walked out to the clearing, Hidan at his heels. He saw the Cloud nins taking in his appearance – the Akatsuki uniform, his covered up face, his eyes – and also noticed how their attention focused on Hidan instead. He smirked under his mask – if they were stupid enough to think Hidan the more dangerous of them that only made his job easier.

"We have no qualms with you, stranger," Denkou addressed him. "However your partner will be taken to Yugakure to make him pay for his crimes."

"Will he? What did he commit?"

"Are you not aware that he is a monster responsible for the death of innumerous people? He massacred dozens of innocents just within his own village, his own relatives and associates among them. He needs to face judgment now."

 _Pompous imbecile,_ Kakuzu snorted hearing that speech.

"Idiots!" Hidan shouted. "Only Jashin – sama can judge me! But why would he," he cackled "when I just carry out his commands. I'll send you to him as well and you will understand it then. Kakuzu – don't interfere, I'll show these heathen assholes the true power of my god!"

"Don't drag it out," Kakuzu warned him. "And the garrulous guy at the middle should remain recognizable."

"He belongs to Jashin now, Kakuzu! You can't decide what happens to him."

"He belongs to the black market now. If I can't exchange his body, you will pay."

"Shut your ugly gob Kakuzu, or I'll finish you off as well afterwards!"

"Just do it already," the masked man snarled at him, and Hidan finally charged. Since they had become partners he fought considerably less. The zealot demanded all battles to himself so Kakuzu usually only had to lift a finger if his idiotic comrade was losing a fight. Which didn't happen as much as the ex - Takigakure shinobi would have expected. He considered the priest's tactics – if you can call them that at all – very simple, but most ninjas were even more of a nitwit and couldn't see through them.

Kakuzu sometimes wondered if he had been just as stupid as a kid (and most of their enemies were just that, compared to him). Probably he was, he admitted, but he couldn't exactly recall what he had been like seventy years ago. That someone had been a completely different person, full of misplaced ambition, pride and meaningless ideas. Someone who hadn't realized yet how cold and cruel place the world was, where you can only rely on your own strength to stay alive and money to get what you need.

Hidan's battle shout dragged Kakuzu back to the present. The priest already immobilized one of his opponents, but Denkou proved to be more of a challenge. The black haired jounin kept dodging the scythe with ease. He was either very cautious or he was prepared and knew what the priest was capable of, but he was very careful not to let his blood be drawn. The third shinobi was also on her feet still and kept interrupting Hidan's finishing moves. Kakuzu rolled his eyes – Hidan should have taken down the woman before attacking Denkou, as he was without doubt the most dangerous of the trio.

Hidan seemed to realize his mistake when a Lightning technique coming from the woman almost cut him in half. He managed to roll out of the fire line, but his hair and cloak got scorched still. He leaped at the woman, but before he could reach her a massive stone wall erupted from the earth. He changed directions again, swearing loudly.

"Haven't I told you not to drag it out?" Kakuzu asked impatiently. "Do you want the other three to hear the racket and attack us as well?"

"Fuck you, Kakuzu! I'm doing it as fast as I can," Hidan shouted back as he sprung up in the air to avoid the joined attack of the Cloud nins.

In the end Kakuzu had to join the fight. As he anticipated the other enemy team came to assist his target. Still, they stood no chance against the joined forces of the Akatsuki pair, even though they were stronger than the previous hunters Kumogakure had sent after them.

Kakuzu suppressed a wince as his monsters –his hearts- returned to his body. Letting them out was quite unpleasant, the main reason he tried to avoid doing so if it wasn't necessary. They were vital parts of him after all, living organs, blood vessels and sinews after a fashion, so to part with them was never easy. Still that pain was nothing compared to the one when they returned, stretching and pushing at his still human parts until they were settled. He frowned through the last twitches – the Lightning heart always took more time to settle down than the other three, though he could never figure out why – then did up the stiches on his back.

Picking up his cloak from the ground he noted it was almost completely torn in half, so he didn't put it back on. Simple sewing wouldn't help here any longer. They both became rather tattered in the past few days.

"They are very determined to get hold of you," he said to his partner thoughtfully. "I wonder how much your hometown is willing to pay for you."

The priest raised his head from the ground and glared at him angrily. He was still sprawled in his ridiculous god's symbol while their last still living opponent took his last ragged breathes a few steps away from him.

"I sincerely hope you are not thinking what I think you are thinking! Trading the bodies of your enemies is disgusting enough. You wouldn't do the same with your buddy's, would you?"

"Hmm," not dignifying that with a response Kakuzu went over to examine Denkou's corpse.  It was luckily more or less in one piece. He didn't have an answer to Hidan’s question anyway. There would be a rich enough offer for what he would be willing to trade the priest for, he was sure – but he also had the creeping suspicion that amount would be higher than anyone would be willing to pay for the idiot. But he didn't need to know that.

"I hope there's an exchange point nearby," Hidan stepped up next to him with a disgruntled expression on his face and poked the body with the toes of his shoes. His cloak was also torn and bloody as well, despite having it unbuttoned down to his navel before starting the ritual. The whole left side of his chest was covered in drying blood. Without giving it a conscious thought, Kakuzu reached out to wipe off a bigger spot. The priest's skin was burning hot under his touch but the wound was hardly visible any longer. Hidan grabbed his wrist as he started to pull his hand back and licked his own blood from his fingers.

"Why haven't you stayed out of the fight Kakuzu?"

"You could hardly handle the first three, not to mention the reinforcement."

"You always underestimate me," Hidan was still grasping his wrist and was close enough for their bodies to almost touch. Kakuzu had to force himself to stay still and not close that space. Even like this he felt his body responding to the other man's presence. He thought that the previous night satisfied his lust for the brat, but nothing was ever simple if it came to Hidan.

"It's not that I underestimate you. I simply never saw you proving yourself."

"Fuck you Kakuzu!" Hidan snarled. "Would I want to, I could send you to hell easily!" the violet eyes darkened in fury when his partner laughed at that. Predictably he attacked in the next instant.

"Your moves are too basic! Anyone willing to use their brain can see right through them. And you are over confident," Hidan ended up on his back in no time. Kakuzu grabbed his throat and pushed him down while kneeling next to him. "You'll never be able to defeat me." He wondered why he was making the effort of educating the priest, who evidently never learned. Hidan glared at him angrily, face flushed. Few strands of his hair got loose and clang to his forehead with sweat. There was a small trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth.

_He looks good enough to eat._

Kakuzu shifted his weight as he started to get hard, carefully keeping his face blank. The last thing he needed was Hidan to realize the effect he was having on him. The priest's lips were moving and Kakuzu eased his grasp a bit so he could talk.

"You forget about something, you arrogant dick! I could defeat you, as I already know what your weak point is!"

"Is that so? And what do you think it is?" Kakuzu asked sceptically. In the next instant he felt the sacrificial pike pressing against his side, uncomfortably close to his spare hearts.

"It's me," Hidan sniggered. Grabbing his nape he pulled his head down and bit his lower lip though the mask.

Snarling angrily Kakuzu knocked the pike out of Hidan's hand. The worst thing was that the priest was right. After so many decades he made the mistake of letting someone close to him – someone who was an unpredictable, unstable lunatic to make it even worse.

Hidan ripped his mask off – it was nothing more than a tattered piece of cloth at this point – and burst out laughing at seeing his expression. Kakuzu started to rise up in anger, but Hidan kicked his legs out from under him and pulled him back. He rolled on top of him and the older man let him. It was really troublesome to fight against him constantly. Especially as he wasn't sure that he wanted to fight him. Not when it came to this, anyway.

The brat straddled his waist and grinned in satisfaction when he felt his hardening erection pushing against his ass.

"Admit I'm right, old man. I'm too good to be resisted."

"You should learn when to shut up Hidan."

"Why don't you make me, Kakuzu?" The insolent way he looked at him didn't left him any other choice than to do just that.

He pulled the silvery head down and Hidan kissed him, if the aggressive way he tried to bit though his lips could be called that. Kakuzu pushed not his tongue but a few of his threads into his mouth and kept his head in place as he tried to pull back. The priest's whole body shivered with disgust or desire he couldn't tell, nor did he care. Hidan fought against the thin tentacles, trying to push them back with his tongue, but when Kakuzu actually started to pull them away he bit down on them to keep them in. When the pressure of sharp teeth became too much, Kakuzu pushed his fingers into Hidan's mouth and opened his jaw by force. Hidan bit his digits as well.

"Tell me you want me," he whispered against his lips, but Kakuzu of course didn't do such a thing. Hidan seemed to forget about it a moment later anyway as he slid lower, white teeth now nibbling the long row of stiches bellow his collarbone. He seemed determined to get them open and Kakuzu wondered why he was so obsessed with that. Maybe he just wanted to take a peek inside to satisfy some morbid curiosity. In the end he humoured him, opening the seam just enough so Hidan could slip his clever pink tongue in, licking the mass of threads he found underneath. It was a disturbingly strange yet pleasant sensation.

Kakuzu suddenly felt uneasy, finding this act way too intimate – much more so than their actual coupling the day before. He reached under Hidan's open cloak and raked his nails up his spine from tailbone to nape. It had the desired effect of Hidan gasping and raising his head and Kakuzu quickly did up his stiches. The clearing had been a battlefield just minutes ago, he reasoned with himself when he actually felt a pang of loss. Plus they were in the joyful company of six bloodied corpses. They had to hurry up.

He quickly dragged off Hidan's clothing, while the priest worked on his trousers. A few strokes and Kakuzu was hard as rock. Hidan smeared his pre-cum and spit over the shaft before guiding it to his own entrance and sinking down on it oh-so-slowly, wincing in pain as Kakuzu's girth stretched his once again virgin tight opening. Kakuzu had to use all his willpower not to grab the slim hips and slam his length in.

It started out slow, with Hidan riding him gasping and cursing under his breath. Kakuzu let him dictate the pace for a while before grabbing his back and thighs and turning their positions so Hidan was on his back with Kakuzu pounding into him from above. The priest clutched his waist with his legs, fingers going to his back to once again scrape nails over the stiches. When he actually pinched one of them and pulled, like he wanted to tear it out from his skin, Kakuzu grabbed his wrists in one hand and pinned them to the ground above his head.

His free hand went between their bodies, grabbing the priest's erection and tugging at it roughly. Hidan soon came with a shout and Kakuzu did as well after a few more hard thrusts.

Ignoring the fleeting wish to linger, he rolled off from the other man and quickly dressed up. When Hidan didn't move he irritably grabbed his arms and dragged him up by force.

"You could give me a few minutes rest after fucking my brain out," the brat protested.

"We need to get moving. We have a body to collect bounty for and a Jinchuuriki to hunt down, so get yourself ready." He already had the feeling that their progress would be slower than ever.

Hidan grumbled something rude under his breath but did as he was told. Kakuzu's mouth twitched into a small smile but he made sure the expression was gone by the time the priest turned back to him.

~0~0~0~0~

"Are you sure the exchange point is around here somewhere? You are carrying that corpse with you for over three days now and honestly, it's getting very disgusting. I can't get why we have to drag it along for so long just to get a few bloody banknotes for it! You should show more respect towards death, Kakuzu…"

Hidan sighed when predictably enough no reply came from his partner. Some things just never changed he noted. Not that he  _expected_ him to change… Kakuzu was as stubborn as he was miserly and old… All right, maybe he did expect him to change just a bit and be a little more… well, not nicer certainly, but a bit more open. At least he could have pretended to listen when Hidan was talking to him.

Unfortunately however the masked bastard continued to be absolutely uninterested in Jashinism or anything else the priest wanted to talk about. He could speak until his mouth started to bleed but all he got in exchange was silence or sarcastic retorts.

Then there was this thing with the corpses. It was one thing to think of Death as something you can buy and trade when it was the most sacred thing in the eye of Jashin –sama. Hidan even endured (with some difficulty) that they carried the decaying bodies with them to get the money Kakuzu so craved for. What really infuriated him was the way the old miser wasn't even willing to get farther than arm length from the carcass even when they were resting at night.

Hidan wasn't squeamish by any means, but to see and smell a few days old corpse right under his nose did turn off his libido like nothing else.

By the time they reached the exchange point the body started to became unrecognizable.

"Denkou Tsama?" the man running the place was an ugly little old guy. He was eying the battered corpse critically. "Well I guess it  _could be_ him. It's hard to tell…"

"It's him," Hidan saw that Kakuzu was angry, though he kept his voice in check.

"Well, height and hair colour is all right… skin tone… ugh, that's impossible to tell now. Hmm… Listen mister. The risk that this is not the wanted person is about fifty percent. So I'm willing to pay half of the price for him."

"You what?!" Kakuzu growled. Hidan had to give credit for the little guy as he didn't bat an eye.

"This is a hazardous business…"

"I'm a regular deliverer for your network. If you think you can offer me such a ridiculous amount…"

Hidan went out of the smelly building, shaking his head in disgust when Kakuzu started to haggle with the man. When, after about half an hour the miser finally emerged Hidan could tell he got the money he wanted in the end. After all the building wasn't a smoking ruin yet, what was bound to happen when someone tried to cheat Kakuzu.

"So we're off to get that Jinchuuriki now?"

"I'll need to take the money somewhere secure first."

"Pein-chan won't be happy with you Ka-ku-zu," Hidan teased him in a sing-song voice "if we're not rushing off to do what he ordered."

"This is just as important! I'm the only one in this organization who…"

"I know, I know. By the way half of that money should be mine, we killed that guy together," he could have sworn that Kakuzu almost clutched the suitcase to his chest at that.

"Half of this money  _maybe_ covers what I have spent on you already! As you never pay for your own accommodation this is the least…"

They continued on, arguing avidly. Some things really never changed, Hidan had to acknowledge, fuming silently. Kakuzu would be a hopelessly heathen mercenary till the end of his days.

_Jashin, why do you punish your faithful servant with him?_

They spent the night at an inn. It was the usual cheap, raunchy type, but finally they could wash the smell of decay that clang to them for the last few days. When Hidan stepped out of the bathroom, Kakuzu grabbed him, threw him down on the bed and fucked him though the creaking mattress. That pretty much made him forget all his resentment.

_All right, so Jashin do love me after all._

He remained as he was on his stomach for a long time afterwards, lying in a wet spot of his own spunk, Kakuzu's dripping out of his ass but feeling too boneless to move. He was shivering slightly as the sweat cooled on his back. He would need to wash his lower regions again… but that could wait until he managed to find the strength to actually stand up. Kakuzu was sitting next to him, back propped up against the headboard, naked expect for a blanket flung across his lap. He was reading one of his boring old books. Hidan peered at the title, but couldn't make it out without raising his head and it wasn't worth the effort.

"I notice you rented a room with a double bed," he muttered just to draw attention to himself.

"It was cheaper this way."

"Hmpf…"

"I thought you wouldn't mind."

"I didn't say I mind. Kakuzu… throw that cover over me, I'm freezing."

"It's right there."

"I can't move. Come on Kakuzu…"

The older man leaned down but instead of covering him up just swatted his ass.

"Go and wash yourself first."

"You are a sadist you know that, right?"

"You can't sleep like this; we are sharing a bed after all. You've already made a mess…"

Some things he  _must_  try to change, Hidan decided as he continued to lay there uncovered  _and_ sticky. All right, he stood no chance at trying to convert Kakuzu to his religion, but he could start with smaller steps. He really should stop ordering Hidan around all the time for example. Their two-man team didn't have an officially appointed leader after all, so Kakuzu had no reason for not treating him like an equal.

He would start to show his competency more often he decided. Hidan reluctantly admitted to himself that he relied too much on his immortality in battles. Not to mention on the knowledge that Kakuzu would save his hide if he got into serious trouble. That just wouldn't do if Hidan wanted to be acknowledged as an equal to the old man.

And he needed to be acknowledged as such. Otherwise Kakuzu would never let Hidan fuck him – and that was a top priority thing on the priest's imaginary to-do list.

~0~0~0~0~

****

 


	7. VII.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s all folks, we reached the last chapter! Thank you everyone who followed. 
> 
> I had a hard time deciding if I should end the fic here, but as we have reached the cannon storyline I thought it for the better. (Not that I didn’t have the urge to turn this into an AU, let them meet Shikamaru and co. and beat them into bloody pulps as it should have happened.)
> 
> Let me credit here, as I should have at the beginning, Foo Fighters’ wonderful song, Stranger Things Have Happened. Not did I only listen to it about a thousand times when writing this fic, but I also “borrowed” the title.

  
~0~0~0~0~

Kakuzu started at the map, not quite seeing it, but having nothing better to do, as he waited impatiently for Hidan to complete his ritual. He didn't see the point in it - even less so than usual - as the Jinchuuriki of the Two-tailed wasn't dead. Granted, there wasn't much life in her either. Not for the first time he felt suspicious of the Jashinist ceremonies. All were unwaveringly stupid and pointless but they did seem to alter depending on the actual mood and needs of Hidan. Sometimes he thought that the whole crazy religion was made up by his partner just to annoy him.

Since the last few weeks in which their relationship evolved into them being - well not lovers, that wouldn't really fit what they were, but … opponents forced to be partners who now had sex on regular basis - he occasionally caught himself wondering about Hidan. What made him the way he was, bloodthirsty, cruel and blindly religious at such a young age? How was he granted his so-called immortality? Why did he slaughter his people and left his village?

He never asked the questions though. There was the slight possibility that they would remain partners in the long term – in which case he had plenty of time for questions. But chances were better for Hidan aggravating him to the point where he would tear him into a million little pieces and dug him in a ditch somewhere sooner or later. There wasn't much point in getting to know him better in that case, was there?

The arrival of Zetsu broke their quasi rest. After the scavenger of the Akatsuki took the woman away Hidan was finally willing to get up. Kakuzu noted angrily that his cloak was once again bloody and torn. At the hideaway they had last visited Kakuzu replaced their frazzled clothing as well as made sure the money he got for the body was safe. Still, Hidan already looked like he would need a new cloak again soon.

"It would be easier if you continued on half-naked," he said to him with a frown. Hidan grinned at that, forgetting the argument that was interrupted by Zetsu's arrival and leave.

"You'd love that you old pervert, wouldn't you?" Hidan obviously took on the idea as he buttoned down his cape completely and let it slide to the ground. Kakuzu found himself _not_  explaining that it wasn't what he meant. "By the way, you were right, that cat was indeed quite strong," the priest smeared a splash of blood on his chest, mostly his own, partially their fallen enemy's. "And let's face it, you were not much of a help."

"I recall you shouting at me to stay out of it as you wanted to finish it alone..."

"Hehe, well maybe I did," Hidan scratched the back of his head, ruffling up his smooth hair. "But then I did it exceptionally, admit it."

"Hmm."

"Admit it, you asshole!" Hidan gave his shoulder a hard shove and when did he get so close? Kakuzu set the map aside and glared at him.

"Do that again and you can learn to wave around your ridiculous scythe one handed."

"I said, admit that I was good."

"You were your usual half-witted self. If you hadn't aggravated the Jinchuuriki at the beginning she might have not let the demon loose and we could have defeated her more easily." The little idiot had been more composed in the fight than usual, but Kakuzu wasn't about to acknowledge it out loud. He was swollen headed enough and thought he could get away with anything already.

"Fuck you Kakuzu! If weren't for me that bitch would have swatted you like a fly!"

The older of the pair just snorted at that. Predictably, Hidan attacked at the next second with his bare hands, screaming profanities. Kakuzu jerked his head back - he didn't want one more of his masks end up in tatters. The priest tried to turn the motion to his advantage and force him on his back. His face was flushed as he snarled and cursed in the height of his fury. He was, Kakuzu wasn't surprised to find, aroused as well, his erection obvious with their bodies pressed together.

The masked man rolled his eyes. This had become a routine with frightening ease in the last few weeks. They would argue, they would fight then they would fuck. Their progress had become so slow it was a miracle they have ever reached the hiding place of the Two-tailed. Not that Kakuzu was complaining – he wasn't in a hurry that much.

"If you want to relive your pent up tension after battle," his threads burst out, entwining Hidan's arms and pulling the rampaging idiot back into a kneeling position "you could just say so."

"But it's so much better this way," the zealot protested while trying to escape with all his might.

"This place however is not suitable for it. Sooner or later someone will gather their courage to check what happened here." The whole area was in shambles after the fight. He pulled his threads back and tried to get up just to have Hidan jump on him again.

"They can come, I have sinned anyways with leaving the slut alive. I need some real sacrifices." Apparently the rougher a fight was the more winded up he got. His hands were already fumbling with Kakuzu's trousers while the masked man was still trying to decide if he should listen to his common sense or his cock.

_Hidan has a very bad effect on me indeed if that is even a question._

In the end he let the priest open his placket and take his hardening prick to his mouth.  _There must be time for a quick blow-job,_ he reasoned. He tried to keep an eye open for their surroundings still… though honestly they have just beaten a strong Jinchuuriki without much problem. Who would they need to be afraid of?

He pushed himself up on his elbows and watched the silvery head bob up and down on his crotch. Hidan definitely showed improvement in this, and what he lacked in technique he made up for in enthusiasm. Adrenalin was still rushing in Kakuzu's veins as a lingering aftereffect of the battle, making him keyed up. It didn't take much time at all for him to release into the priest's mouth with a grunt.

Hidan crawled up on him with a self-satisfied smile. Pulling down is mask he kissed him roughly. Kakuzu grimaced at the taste but didn't push him away – he did do a good job after all.

"It is really time for us to get going," he pulled his head back at last.

"You selfish bastard! It's my turn now!"

Kakuzu reached for the clasps on Hidan's trousers with a resigned sigh, best part of his attention on their surroundings again. Hidan straddled his chest and seemed content with the hand job. But when Kakuzu sped up the movement of his hand to finish him off quickly he grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"What is it?" he growled impatiently. The priest was biting his lips, looking down to him with an uncharacteristically solemn expression. The older man's first thought was that he sensed some enemy nearby, but no… he would have picked them out much sooner.

"Kakuzu," Hidan stared at him like he wanted to hypnotize him. "I want to fuck you. Right here, right now."

"What made you think I would let you?" he smirked at the other's angry expression.

"Because… that's only fair. After all,  _I_  let  _you_  do whatever you want with me. And in this battle I took on much more than you – can be said  _I_  defeated the Jinchuuriki. I deserve it."

If the little snot tried to be convincing he was doing an extremely poor job of it. He had the nerve to suggest Kakuzu initiated this  _thing_  between them? With the way he had been practically humping his legs begging for Kakuzu to do him for weeks? Or was he implying that for his better than average performance in battle he should get a reward? Well, Kakuzu was not one handling out prizes, especially not his own body as such. Nor was he known for fair play. Hidan was really starting at the wrong end with his reasoning.

Even if he would be thinking about it – which he just might had been – it was certainly not the place or time for it.  _Right here, right now, indeed._

"You didn't convince me. Let's finish this quickly," he gave Hidan's prick, which was still in his palm a hard stroke "and then…"

"No." Hidan gripped his shoulders and pushed him down. Kakuzu let him put all of his weight on him and pin him to the hard ground. He knew that he could easily free himself at any point, but he rather liked the determined look on his partner's face. He had never seen Hidan so focused before. It wasn't a bad look on him.

The priest seemed to change tactics and started to place biting kisses down his neck. "Kakuzu, please," he whined, nuzzling his collarbone before sucking and nipping the tender skin above it. It was a very sensitive spot, something he obviously recognized by now. "I know you want it too…"

The older man didn't contradict him, although the question wasn't if he  _wanted_  it. Once – a long time ago – it was something he found enjoyable, had it been done correctly.

What he couldn't decide was if he should let  _Hidan_  to do it. He was irresponsible, cheeky… arrogant, crazy… the list could go on and on. And what could be said in his favour?

Before this partnership with the zealot Kakuzu had been content without sex for decades. And even before that he had been careful not to get involved in anything lasting, only picking up strangers or sticking to prostitutes. He definitely never wanted attachments or any feelings that would complicate his otherwise well-organized life.

But here he was now, tangled up in this  _something_ with the most unsuitable person ever. Because it wasn't just sex, he was honest with himself enough to admit that. Pity that he had no idea what it was…

While Kakuzu was trying to come to a decision Hidan slid lower, hands massaging the inside of his thighs, clever pink tongue licking around his navel. He obviously wasn't troubled by such thoughts – the benefits of an empty head, Kakuzu mused unkindly. He repressed a sigh. The idea only had one thing in its favour – that he really wouldn't mind it. It wasn't as if he couldn't take anything the priest could do, or wouldn't be able to stop him if he proved to be inadequate.

"So typical of you to come up with this at the most uncomfortable and dangerous place possible," he scowled as Hidan started to pump him, trying to get him hard again. The priest frowned at him before understanding what he was really saying.

"You just said yes, didn't you?"

"Fuck this up and I'll never let you near my ass again, understood?"

"Don't worry Kakuzu, you are in good hands." Hidan was now grinning – if there was one thing he wasn't lacking at it was self-confidence. "You won't regret it."

"I've already regretted it," he grumbled but pulled up and spread his legs nonetheless when Hidan shifted to kneel between them. He had to hold back a pained hiss when the priest wetted a finger and pushed it into him slowly.

"It's been a while, huh?" Hidan was at least smart enough to wipe the grin from his face. His eyes searched his face avidly, watching his reactions. Kakuzu almost felt self-conscious under such rapt attention. At least the brat seemed to know what he was doing. By the time he had two fingers up in him, stretching and searching for his pleasure spot he started to enjoy the ministrations.

"A lifetime ago," he replied at long last.

"Oh, Kakuzu-chan, I feel honoured."

"Shut up and do it."

Hidan didn't need more encouragement. He hiked Kakuzu's legs higher and started to push in. When he had about the first inch of his prick in him, he withdrew completely before slowly penetrating him again. Kakuzu frowned. Was the little shit teasing him?

Having none of that he wove his legs around his hips, heels scraping against Hidan's tailbone and pulled him down forcefully while pushing his own ass upwards. Hidan yelled out as he slammed in to the root, and Kakuzu could hardly keep back from doing the same.  _That hurt._

"You bloody fucking stubborn idiot," Hidan growled even as he started to move. "Here I try to be gentle with you…"

"Who asked for your gentleness? I'm not some blushing virgin you little prick."

"Little?" Hidan snarled, obviously affronted. Well he wasn't, the sharp pain in Kakuzu's ass was a proof of that. He kneeled up, pushing in deeper and hitting his prostate. The stitched man couldn't help but to throw his head back and moan.

"That's it," Hidan chuckled darkly. "You like that, don't you." He was moving faster and faster, hands clutching his thighs in a death grip. "You are so tight… fuck… I've wanted to do this for this for ages… tell me you like my cock in your ass, fucking you…"

"Shut up, idiot," Kakuzu treaded his fingers in the silver locks, yanking hard on them as he pulled Hidan's head down to silence that filthy mouth. Hidan moaned as he pushed his tongue in. One of his hands slid down from Kakuzu's leg to his bottom, caressing the ring of muscle where they were joined and that sent an unexpected shiver of excitement up his spine. He was completely hard again and he released Hidan's hair so he could touch himself.

Profanities and nonsense started to spill from the priest's mouth again, now that he was able to pull his head back but Kakuzu didn't pay him any mind, concentrating on his pleasure only. A few more thrusts from Hidan aimed at the right spot, a few more tugs on his own prick and he came. Hidan, seemingly holding back only waiting for that did so as well almost immediately afterwards, surprisingly silently as he bit down on his shoulder shuddering and groaning.

The zealot collapsed on his chest and for a minute or two Kakuzu let him lay there as they both tried to catch their breath. When he rolled off from him, the older man immediately stood up. He grimaced at the wetness in his backside – he did forget how itchy and undignified that felt. He quickly wiped himself off the best he could and dressed up. Hidan was on his back, one hand over his eyes but grinning visibly. Kakuzu threw his cloak at him.

"Get up and let's go."

"You are such a fucking romantic Kakuzu. What about cuddling?"

"Are you deliberately trying to annoy me?"

Hidan sighed as he stood up to collect his clothing and weapons, but he could see his was still smirking. Disrespectful brat.

~0~0~0~0~

Hidan didn't even try to mask his smug smile as he strode next to Kakuzu. He was just a bit peeved that no matter how he watched the masked man he couldn't see him walking funny at all. Bah, well, he was still sure he did really well. He didn't receive any complaints (nor was his head or any even more cherished parts ripped off) which in Kakuzu-talk meant he was satisfied with Hidan.

 _Of course he was._ Hidan was satisfied with himself as well. He couldn't wait to repeat the experience somewhere more comfortable. Preferably somewhere the old bastard couldn't immediately spring up and pretend he hadn't been just fucked in the ass. And enjoying it. He couldn't repress a snigger at that thought.

"What?"

"Nothing at all, I'm just in a sunny mood. Aren't you, Kakuzu?"

No answer was forthcoming of course, not that he was really expecting one. It didn't matter – he was getting better at reading the different silences. The man was still a mystery in most ways but maybe he was getting to know him a bit better. Not as much as you would expect after half a year spent together as partners and the last few weeks spent with intensive fucking, but at least a tiny bit. When Hidan was happy with him like now, he was sure that there was more to him than the money-greedy, cynic asshole he showed himself to be. Other times, he grudgingly admitted, he thought that he was just that.

Well, the man was frustrating, no question about that. Acting all so mysterious all the time, like everything and everyone was beneath him. Still at times, if Hidan looked for it really hard, he could see his human side as well. At least what you could still call human, for the lack of a better word.

The priest sighed. He wanted to take the bastard apart at the seams, quite literally, and look inside to see what made him tick. Push aside all those weird tentacles until he could feel his heart- no, all five of his hearts beating under his hand, at his mercy. That would make him  _talk_  and Hidan could finally know for sure who he really was.

But that would remain a fantasy he knew, as Kakuzu would never let his defences down so and he had no chance to get him submit to him by force. But it didn't matter. He had all the time in the world, immortal as they both were to find out everything he wanted to know about his partner and more. Smiling again he put a light hand on the other's broad shoulder. When it wasn't shrugged off, he knew the man wasn't in his usual homicide mood either.

"So where are we heading?" he tried to start the conversation again.

"Land of Fire – as I already told you. It's time to collect the Jinchuuriki of Konoha as well."

"Good. Anything unusual we should be prepared for?"

"As far as I know it's just a kid. He shouldn't cause any more difficulties than the Two-tailed did. Although… Deidara did lose his arm when trying to capture him and Sasori was killed by his friends.”

"Sasori was a freak and Deidara," he gave a derisive laugh to convey what he thought about the blond git "well, he's just a pussy… Hey Kakuzu, I always wondered how did he pay you when you sew back his arms."

"I usually don't make a habit of fucking irritating brats, if that's what you are implying," Kakuzu turned his head slightly towards him, eyebrows raised. Hidan wanted to reach out and touch his mouth to see if he was smiling under that mask he so despised, but resisted.

"Or being fucked by them?" he asked instead. "I feel special," and he did. It meant that Kakuzu trusted him more than he let it on. "I tell you what. I'll fight this Jinchuuriki kid alone, and if I beat him, you will let me do you again."

"Hmm."

"Was that a yes?"

"I  _might_  think about it."

**THE END**

 


End file.
